


Burned out Flames Should Never Reignite

by Ofhisinvestigation



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Alcohol, Alternate Season/Series 15, Alternate Universe, Angel Wings, Angst, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester and Sam Winchester are Jack Kline's Parents, Castiel is Jack Kline's Parent, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Comfort/Angst, Confused Jack Kline, Dead Mary Winchester, Depression, Drama & Romance, Drunk John Winchester, Emotionally Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, Emotionally Repressed, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Heavy Drinking, Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt Sam Winchester, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Loneliness, M/M, Neglectful John Winchester, No Smut, Past Abuse, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past John Winchester/Mary Winchester, Protective Dean Winchester, Repressed Dean Winchester, Romance, Sad, Season/Series 15, Sick Dean Winchester, The Empty (Supernatural), Triggers, Wings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:02:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 30,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27144925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ofhisinvestigation/pseuds/Ofhisinvestigation
Summary: God is still destroying worlds and disintegrating every living form that is left. Team Free still needs to get the situation under control however, the Winchesters decide to do their everyday thing Cases before the big day comes. Billie is still in contact and Jack with the plan they initially had she's sure to get what she wants, Cas's deal with the empty remains intact and in place, Sam and Eileen are already in a good relationship and after all this stuff is over they hope to finally do what they want with their freedom. Castiel has always had feelings, deeper feelings for Dean but Dean doesn't seem to see it.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Jack Kline & Dean Winchester, Jack Kline & Sam Winchester, John Winchester/Mary Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	1. Departure Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> An Au simply based After Episode 13 of season 15. If you aren’t caught up it shouldn’t matter as much but there are some concepts you have to understand to at most read this, but it’s okay again if you don’t. Also about Jack forgiving at the end of episode 13, it gets altered a bit and this ends off where the alternate universe Dean and Sam are leaving, the first part is heavily inspired by one of the comics I saw by GabeSketchers on Tumblr and Twitter. Also, yes I didn't write john as the best father either. And yes, this is based on an RP my friend and I are working on. I thought it would be nice to share! 
> 
> Ps. Most of it is just pain. I hope you enjoy  
> Another thing, I am trying to fix it so it's all past tense, the tenses get messy considering I do not have a beta reader for the other chapters.

Two pairs of brothers were sharing beers and explained experiences and such. The Dean from the original universe had a lot of questions about the much richer version of himself. The much richer Dean was a better well-rounded person than the original version of himself, considering that the alternate version Dean is rich and literally gets everything he wants. Their dad is a lot better than Dean’s initial dad on so many levels. 

The two brothers from a completely parallel universe were passable to trick god when thinking they were at the bunker. Since the case is done the original Dean and original Sam having a drink with their alternate universe selves. After their small talk, it was time for the other two to actually leave this world. Dean was close to the staircase with Sam and the other versions of themselves. Even though the alternate universe versions are greedy, needy, and a bit annoying. Dean fairly had a good time learning about them, and now it was time to say goodbye to them. 

Dean stared at the replica of himself, he wasn't sure of what to say next or last, but the richer version of himself already said his goodbyes and good luck. He learned something new about the alternate universes. He's already scared of Chuck as it is; he isn't trying to continue having a heavy workload aside from dealing with actual God bullshit. Dean is quite tired of the life he has, still figuring out if he wants to retire or not. Most likely he will but the job isn't over quite yet. Another thing to note is Dean will remember seeing Sam in a bun, that was the most amusing part of this whole thing, he wished that he could witness more of it but then again, two universes should not collide with one.

Sam Seeing them, seeing this alternative version of himself had brought more questions on the table. One of them was Chuck's mindset of how his little worlds work...and why would he create more? it scared the smart hunter to points of desperation and confusion, he was smart and had to find ways out. But somehow this god complex that is hovered around him, and with Dean getting worse he’s scared and doesn't exactly know where to begin anymore, but to wait for an outcome with a plan that makes him feel blind...Right now they are back from a mission and have to say goodbyes to their alternative selves. Sam found his other self quite amusing, but the man-bun he despises very much. When Sam walked into the main part of the bunker and saw his older brother speaking to them he thought of barging in. They both spoke to them for a while before he allowed them to leave “Hey.” He said and looked at the original Dean before he placed his eyes on both the richer Dean and Richer Sam. It's so bizarre looking at yourself like that.

The Richer Sam’s posture was straight and delicate, he looked proud of himself for having style. What he enjoyed only was the impala and the freedom...he wondered how can their other-selves live in circumstances like this? he truly misses his father and the expensive scotch, they would drink. He even misses the pilots that always whine how they are late for their flight to Australia, it's exhausting but this looks even more exhausting especially when there is no whiskey to fuel them up or his father's encouragement. “It's been wonderful meeting you two.” the Richer Sam chimed with glee “We are so grateful you saved us!”

Castiel was currently helping Jack calm down with his emotional distress. All of the feelings barging right back in would obviously cause him to have a mental breakdown, which Cas could empathize with. He left him alone after he stopped crying, sobbing, and begging to be forgiven for whatever that he has done wrong. Cas understood where this came from, but couldn't exactly talk too much in the matter because he also was to blame for not trying to communicate with Jack before the "accident" occurred. He closed the door and placed his palm on the door and stayed there for a few seconds looking at it. he contemplated if it's a good idea to leave Jack alone in his state. Cas chose to do so, maybe personal space will help him out.

When the Angel walked down the hall he noticed both Dean and Sam talking to their other selves that ended up in the bunker. This caused Cas to stop and look at where the stairs for the exit. Castiel tilted his head with confusion looking at them four messes with someone's head. The Angel walked towards them a stood beside his world's dean, he doesn't know if they have their own version of Castiel, but if not, he could try introducing himself for good measures “Hello” he started off with before he shoved both his hands into his coat's pockets

Dean glanced over at the angel walking towards him, He crossed his arms and didn't say anything to Cas, there was nothing even to say. They're still not on the best terms with each other. With everything that happened the hunter can't shake off the whole Mary dying situation, it looks like it's going to stick with him for a while. Dean looked back over to the other version of himself, Dean tilted his head a little in confusion. The other version of himself seemed a bit surprised to see Cas for some reason, Dean wondered why.

Richer Dean looked at the angel. Wait, he's seen him before... Why does he look familiar to Dean? He got a better look at the somewhat small angel that wore a long trench coat. It reminded him of his boyfriend. He doesn't know the name of this man who so happened to walk randomly in so he isn't quite sure, but he's certain it is him... Richer Dean stunned of course, by this appearance due to the fact he hasn't seen Cas since he had to bury him in a Malak box, this Dean was the one who had to put him six feet under the earth’s crust with no return. The Richer Hunter doesn't even know if he is alive, but beforehand, everything was so good... it was really good before his angel became crazy because of the mark, he didn't have any other choice at the time so Dean had to do this. Richer Dean was getting emotional by the sight of Cas. He remembered the last look he gave to Dean before taking the mark so willingly. He didn't want his angel to take the mark but Cas volunteered so easily because Cas loved Dean, he loved him so much the Angel couldn't bring himself to have Dean deal with the mark “Cas?” He said quietly while staring at the shorter angel

Castiel was unsure of how to react to the other version of Dean. What confused the angel was how his soul wasn't as bright as his deans are, and he could see that quite easily. As if something was missing from the alternate Universe Dean, a piece in him that was crucial for his whole living...something happened, and the way those emeralds were losing their vivid colors, almost empty, Cas can tell something is missing, the angel felt empathetic. Cas is now lost in this Dean's despair, he could feel the want in them and it hurt Cas so much, however, felt off with this Dean. This Dean looked at him so wrong, it almost felt intimate. “Yes...?” Castiel replied with his eyes squinting, and his head tilted gently to the side, he had soft features, and doing that made him look even softer. The Angel is fine in this universe but The Empty will soon take him too, somewhere a lot deeper than the bottom of the ocean.

The Richer Sam looked at this Castiel and knew right away where this was going, his posture looked fixated and choked, tense as the taller brother moved over to hold onto his brother’s shoulder. The Richer Sam gripped it as if he was signaling that Dean shouldn't do what he is about to do. Sam knows how much his brother loved Cas, and how heartbreaking was for him to bury his lover in a box. Where he would live there for an eternity. 

The Richer Dean seemed to blush a little when the angel replied to him, This Cas looked just as soft as his boyfriend did, and with the confused look, it was all the same as well. He would remember the times they would be in their literal palace of a place. Dean and Cas would spend a lot of time reading together and doing whatever nerds liked doing, it was sweet but Dean enjoyed every minute of it. Dean knows that It _was _him but from another universe who hasn't completely ruined the angel. The Richer Dean fumbled at his fingers before he looked at Sam briefly before turning back to the angel that stood before him.__

____

____

********

********

The alternate version of Dean walked a little closer to the angel, he looked at him up and down he tried to get a good look at him. This Dean smiled sadly, he seems to be visioning seeing this Cas with nerdier clothes on. “You look just as fancy as you ever did, though my angel didn't wear trench coats. He was more of a nerdy guy, wore anything but formal stuff. He hated suits.” Dean paused while looking down at the floor for a minute before stared back into Cas's blue eyes. “He would look very handsome in one though” this Dean smiled fondly to himself and to the angel before he moved both hands to his pockets. There was something he was trying to dig out, something he was meaning to give to his boyfriend but he never got the chance to.

The current Dean looked over at both Cas and the other version of himself. Dean didn't have much of an opinion on all of this quite yet but, Dean stood there quietly crossing his arms, not to interfere of course. There's something in his stomach, It isn't a nice feeling but it's not something he should pay attention to. This will be over soon, there isn't anything to get upset about. Dean is more focused on the forgiving side than being the sad type at the moment. It seemed something about this interaction didn't feel right to him, but then again he's a man who represses his emotions all the time, so he isn't going to say anything. The only thing he could do is watch

Castiel observed how he moved closer to him, something about the fondness of the man's eyes made Cas want to blush but he didn't. His eyes knew what he was seeing, he wouldn't allow his mind to deceive the harsh reality of things, and that is why _his _Dean is still at the forgiving stages for everything that happened. His oceans tried to move away from the Richer Dean to his Dean, seeing how his hands crossed together, almost glaring towards them. Something was off with his Dean until the alternate version of Dean decided to speak. Cas's eyes fell right back towards him, what the other Dean described; this dean and the other version of himself doing, and how he would never wear suits made Cas smile.__

____

____

The Angel’s smile was bright, soft, He looked down a bit making his hooded eyes have a gentle crease, it almost looked like his eyes was closed, and there was now a gentle blush across his face now too. “Well, I am quite fond of suits, but it would be interesting if I were to try something else. I will reconsider it” Cas said to the other version of his Dean Winchester he knows and loves. He wondered what this Dean was trying to dig out of his pockets. So Cas looked at him quite perplexed and curious at the same time

This Dean hasn't seen this in such a long time. the Angel he knew even from another universe can light up one whole one with one simple smile. That's what this version of Dean saw, he couldn't help it but smile contently too. He finished fishing whatever he was trying to retrieve in his pockets, this Dean moved back over to the angel. Now he’s a lot closer than he was before, not uncomfortably close or anything but close enough. Dean took the angel's hand and he noticed how soft it was, he missed his Angel’s intimate touch. This was painful to Dean, having the guts to do this gesture. Even feeling this version of his angel he felt the ghostly touches of his boyfriend which made him look down a little in sorrow. When even trying to give this to him, he took a deep breath before raised Cas's hand up to the chest area.

The Richer Dean turned Angel's hand so his palm was facing up. He placed his hand on top of Castiel’s palm facing down; currently closed into a fist shape, that was before he released his fingers, slowly spreading them. This allowed the ring he initially had in his hand to lay on top of Angel's palm. He finally moved his hand fully away from Cas before looking up at him, This version of Dean seemed a little happier he was able to give this to at most one person. One person, he saw and trusted even if this isn't his Angel, his boyfriend. Dean would still trust Cas with his life. “I was never able to give this to him... so I thought I would just give it to you.” The Richer Dean clarified simply.

The Angel didn't move much away from Dean, he allowed him to come up to him even closer. Cas felt his hand being dragged out of his pocket, and the way this Dean touched his hand made him shiver because he imagined his own Dean touching him this way. His own Dean's rougher from the punches he gave, and the years of guns he had to hold, the experience of wrath and war, the blood that he spilled. Somehow they still felt almost the same, almost but so far off. Since this Dean's hand felt softer, more intimate. Was it the skin or his emotions making the gesture a lot calmer, former, and even loving? Cas shivered again after something cold touched his skin in the center of his palm. When this Dean removed his hand away from the tiny object Castiel observed and he felt stunned...was this a ring? 

He took a second look to understand what this meant. His blue eyes glimmered, the Angel didn't know how to respond. He wanted to look up and see his dean instead, then again, this would never become reality and Cas knew deep down. “Dean-” he tried to speak but then he knew. He understood that this version of Dean was in love with his alternative version of himself. They would get married, but something happened. The Angel thinks he understood now. The visible sorrow in Cas's eyes was obvious. He gripped the ring, closing his soft fingers around it before he looked back at the alternate Dean contently. “I will keep it safe…” He said and meant it. The Angel will try to keep safe. Castiel wanted to ask about this Dean's Castiel, he really wanted to but decided against it

The Richer Dean looked at the Angel and nodded softly, he's happy that he'll keep safe. “I'm glad you will.” The Other version of Dean didn't move back from Cas quite yet. He's still looking deeply into Angel's features trying to get the best and last possible chance he'll ever be able to see "him" again. This Dean trusts that Cas will not lose the ring. Though they aren't together in this world he can at most feel happy enough he was able to give him it. One way or another, universe by universe, only if he could control time or go back. He would’ve kept the Mark of Cain on him. The everlasting regrets and wishes this version of Dean is going through, he wishes he could undo all of it. “I loved him you know…” Dean said quietly to Cas individually, he wasn't sure if the others could hear it clearly but he hoped no one else did

This current version of Dean is stood there, he looked over to both of the Sam's, he seemed to remain silent, but it looks like he gave them both the look of "I knew it". The other version of Sam seemed a little more sympathetic to this. He watched them both interact. Dean understood what's happening right now, and he doesn't like it, he wouldn't ever say anything about it. Why won't he? is it the anger that washed over him, the continuous silence that keeps him from doing what he actually wants? He doesn't know but it's making him in a somewhat discontent mood. There's no way he would think of getting together with his angel, they weren't in a good spot and that doesn't seem to be changing. But even so... it hasn’t crossed Dean’s mind

Castiel kept his gaze on this Dean he was close to him at the moment, looking at his features it felt odd. The man’s face was softer, he looked better, the wounds as if they were never really there. This Dean's skin looks healthier than his own dean which looks tired. Cas wants to use his grace to make it better, whenever he has the chance to heal Dean, his dean, He always ends up healing the tiniest of wounds. As for what this Dean now whispered brought what the Angel assumed to reality the richer Dean loved that other Cas. He heard the soft whisper and knew right away, he could ask without any fear. His lips creased into a gentle empathetic smile and tilted his head a bit to look at the man's face a bit better “This other me, your Cas, what happened to him?” He asked; afraid of the outcome, typically his Dean would get angry by such a question. The Angel hesitated for a while, but this is not Dean, well..his Dean


	2. Departure Part 2

The other Dean took a minute, he realized what he said out loud. It didn't mean to come out that way, he should tell Cas what happened to his version. This could explain why he's so overcome with the emotions he's feeling, a feeling he's been missing for a long time. This Dean can't tell him at this point since it’s already out in the open. Dean took a deep breath before he looked at Cas with another gentle smile, their eyes piercing into one another. Their souls wouldn't connect because this was this world and they have their own, but he was more than willing to tell him. “The Mark of Cain, I'm sure you're familiar with it” Dean started to fidget around with his hands and fingers out of being nervous “I possessed the mark for a while and I've had it longer than I could remember, there are times I wish I didn't accept the offer about it or given the choice. I took it because I couldn't stand anyone else having it at the time” Dean explained, “After a bit of time the mark took a toll on me which in that time my angel and I were... you know.” 

This Dean seemed to get even quieter. “He couldn't stand seeing me possessed with this mark any longer, and because of this bond, we shared the angel was willing to do anything for me not to deal with it again. He took the mark himself and unfortunately even with him the mark couldn't be contained or controlled, I didn't think with celestials the outcome would be worse but in the end... I had” Dean looked over to the side, he would feel ashamed telling this Cas “buried him in a Malak box under the ground where he couldn't get to anyone. I don't even know if he's alive or still out there. Either or, It didn't end up well. I didn't have a choice but I didn't want to kill him, I couldn't. Not with an angel blade, and not even with my own hands. So that's what I thought was the best approach for this.” Dean finished his story and looked back at Cas there was guilt written all over it but it changed back to normal after a few minutes

Castiel knows this posture, this soft eyebrow movement this Dean makes because he has seen it before more than once. Every time he does see it, Cas knows Dean is not okay, he knows how ashamed of such emotions he has them buried deep down Dean feels right there and then. How devastated this man is right now, and the story on its own got Cas to feel strong chills. Like a feather caressing the line of his spine but instead, it felt like a sharp knife grazing his naked spine, it was so painful. Cas had the urge to look away from this Dean take a look towards his own but he couldn't. Cas is lost to every word this Dean said...he had to bury his other self, they were together, they loved each other, that brought a bit of hope in Cas but also questions. What would have happened if he were to take Dean's mark? would the outcome be this? Does his Dean even love him that way? because this dean loved him that doesn't mean his dean loves him. The differences between the two are tremendously huge.

Cas could talk about their differences for hours on end and he would still find details in breadcrumbs. It’s painful, everything hurts; the deal with the empty, Dean's anger, everyone's extreme morals of defense towards each other, sacrificing again, and again playing with fate, life and death, hell- heaven and gosh, Cas is now playing with higher grounds. The Empty, now all of them with God, not even these alternative versions dared to play around with God. His other version died doing something worthy. So what is Cas going to die over, being happy? so helpful. Castiel tried not to overthink everything now he exhaled sharply opening his embrace to this Dean giving him the opportunity of a hug. He wondered if it would feel the same as hugging his Dean. Probably not since his dean has scars, and had a bond with him. This Dean, on the other hand, can't sense it. His grace runs right towards his own dean, which made him happy

The Richer Dean looked at the angel who offered the hug, maybe this is really the only opportunity he would be able to feel the physical touch of his former lover in another universe. Dean takes it upon himself to get closer with Cas; he simply hugged him. He felt this warmth go up to his chest. It was a comfortable one, but he's missing something, he's longed for a while. Since this is another version of Dean he still has some of the same properties like their heads being able to fit together so well. Dean sighed to himself quietly before pulling away. 

He had a hand on Cas's shoulder for a second before he moved in to simply kiss Cas on the cheek. Now that was a bit more far fetched than what he thought he was going to do. The temptation to do it on the lips lingered but he understood this wasn't his world, and he didn't belong here. But seeing this version of Cas made Dean finally believed that there are other worlds. He got really lucky to see the Angel living one last time. The Richer Dean pulled away from the Cas after pressing his soft lips onto the angel's cheek. “I hope the world treats you better than it did to him.” Dean moved fully away from Cas finally he gave the angel one last smile. If his brother and he didn't leave any sooner Dean probably would have a harder time leaving in the first place. Dean glanced at his brother and gave him a nod; a queue that should indicate they should get going

The Original Dean watched all of this happen while he listened to the story since his other version was loud enough to explain the story to everyone. Actually, Dean felt bad for his alternate self. He remembers that the Mark of Cain didn't do him any good in the end. Thankfully he was able to get it removed before it got any worse. Dean understood beforehand what it was doing to him, and he couldn't stand what he's done. He's still an angry person not much will change that but he still needs to get his temper under control. Dean bit the inside of his cheek when the other version of himself kissed Cas on the cheek, he looked away staring at the floor for a few minutes before he turned his attention back to the two of them

Castiel knew that by the way his skin achingly caressed over his own, how the fingertips grazed harshly across his thick coat, and how softly it caressed their head down to the angel's lower back, it made the starvation for the man sink lower. This dean was longing for something, Cas knew but he couldn't give that to him, his own affection has been taken by someone else. He stood there and watched, Dean observed how Castiel allowed this foreign version of himself to touch him. Cas was hurt with seeing not even the slightest of tension on the other man; nothing at all as a reaction to the intimacy between The Richer Dean and him. It almost shattered his heart, he wanted something, anything, any reaction would be good but he got nothing. Glowering looks and eyes that skimmed through his life forced like a really sharp blade slicing through. 

When the other Dean moved away from him Cas forced a smile on his lips and tried to make it look as real as the angel could possibly make it look. Soon enough that smile turned parted lips and eyes widened in pure shock, the man leaned to kiss his cheek and it was when he realized now. _This Dean has kissed Cas before, the one he truly desires on his bed every night and every day inside his embrace _and that hurts even more. The mixture of bliss confused the angel because Dean's, this Dean's lips felt silky smooth and kissable. Ready to be bruised and sloppily wet, desire on Angel's eyes when looked over where his dean is, or the Dean of this world. Since they are still on really bad terms with each other He choked on his own breath. felt salty rocks stuck on his throat because all he could taste in his mouth was sourness. Cas felt his mouth go dry and no words were coming out, he swallowed and tried to make the flapping motion on his stomach ease down. The angel looked at the other Dean before he gave a gentle nod; an indicator that they should head out now. His eyes fell to the Sam with the man bun which made Cas feel a certain type of way, a very unpleasant one when his eyebrows stretched touching each other, wincing and almost cringed at the sight before waving them both goodbye. He tried to avoid looking at his own Dean, for the time being, afraid the sourness would come back...ghostly arms wrapped around him and soft lips touching his cheek; it haunted him, it begged the angel to look at Dean, admire the features that he himself put back together 11 years ago. His main concern now is what the other Dean talked about, how the world will treat him. Truth is, Cas will die. He has accepted his fate a long time ago. He won't be treated nicely, or any nicer than the other version or versions of himself have been treated Once everything was set, both the alternate universe brothers were ready to leave. The Richer Dean gave one last wave to the original version Dean and the other Sam gave his farewells as well, finally, they departed the bunker after some time. The day was a wild one, and probably one of the strangest out of them all, then again since when are any of the Winchester’s days normal?__

____

__After that, all happened Dean didn't know how to feel at the moment. He no longer felt mad about this he feels more hurt, he doesn't know why. Dean looked over at Sam and Cas for a minute before he declared he was going to go get himself a beer. Dean's face fell from a neutral one to a more discontent one, his lips moved downwards slightly before he decided to leave the map table. Dean left the main part of the bunker and went straight for the kitchen, he got himself a beer, popped off the cap, and started to down it. Not too quickly but a good amount._ _

Dean was propped on the side of the table, he looked up at the ceiling before he took a deep breath; he tried to direct his focus back in front of him, Dean tried to process his own emotions at the moment. It seems he might be a tad jealous that his other version of Dean. He was much closer to Cas but why would that matter to this dean? Well, they used to be very close but he's still trying to get past the forgiving part of this whole situation. The Hunter wondered why he couldn't get control of himself. It puzzled him, which is saying a bit. Dean finished his first drink before going to another, he wouldn't be surprised If anyone walked in or followed him, Sam did say something before he left, but he doesn't know what he said to Cas. he'd probably rather not know

Castiel is mad, his mind is going a million light-years worth ways, he feels like a cosmic being once again, not even the universe can comprehend how many emotions he is feeling. Envy for his dead self of his alternate version because that other version of him at least got to feel his lover closer, got to have to consent reaching out to embrace the man from the back without Dean turning at him gun pointing. Either that being mental or physical, he almost shot Jack and he had come back from the dead. Everything seemed to be better than now, times being confessing or committing into his heart's desires, his vessel's needs would not be wise especially with the fear of being beaten up. Because sticks and stones may break this body's bones apart but more emotional incrimination for something he has no control over would make things more complicated and painful, but one reason more for Cas to stay alive.

Not like he feels like so when he can't be who he wants to be, can't be the one that will warm Dean's nights instead of a random woman he'd find at a bar..it hurts seeing Dean so hurt, the color Cas sees whenever he gets to look into those emeralds are forests being burned down to ashes and the fire is so bright as for the heat. The heat is unbearable, he wonders how is Dean even able to withstand the heavy smoke, the unmanageable soot that must be gathering in his mind, blinding anything that had to do with logic and allowing the sheerness of the black substance blur his judgment, act impulsively, and take decisions on hand without seconds thoughts Castiel, Sam, and even Jack is there for him, but he is too blinded sometimes. Now it's one of those times but Cas wouldn't give up easily, never. He made his way towards the kitchen but stood over the door hatchway “Dean” he started off, thinking that maybe a simple question of _"are you okay?" _would be wise. The Angel decided against it “Sam said we might have a case...get ready” he said swiftly before he left.__

regrets were already smothering him whole, he wondered if Dean's forest fire is what makes him feel so awful if that's what makes him not being able to say a word, cause the fear of the fire increasing in dean's mind is always there and that makes Cas shiver in abhorrence

Dean has finished up his second beer. He still was gazing up at the ceiling for a good solid three minutes before he heard Cas. He doesn't actually want to go on the hunt they may go on but even so, cases were enough to distract them all from Chuck's doings and weird awful plans even so. Seeing his other version self doing that destroyed his mood for the day. Dean finally looked over in Cas's direction “Yeah, I don't think I'm going to go this time” Dean blandly said, he didn't have any specific tone to it but even so there's a very little hint of sorrow in the mix. Dean's finally figured out what he was feeling; wasn't pleasant in any sense or sort. Dean placed his bottle into the recycling before he walked towards the exit, the Hunter simply pats Cas's shoulder before he departed from the kitchen.

Dean didn't have anything else to say for that night but there was no way he was going to have a heart on the heart with Cas because quite honestly he isn't in the mood for that either. Dean wondered from time to time where they would be if they haven't fought often. Their friendship is still there but it's seemed too distant away from each other. Dean probably doesn't do the best repairing things. Since when was he ever a good repairman. He remembers the last time knowing that anything he touched he corrupts. That may be true in multiple ways to Dean but he will never speak about it directly

The Angel felt his stomach drop rapidly to the pat on his shoulder, it almost felt like someone bombarded him with a cannon or was hit with a running car. Obviously, it didn't happen since the feeling was mental, but it still felt so vivid it scared the angel. He avoided eye contact in every circumstance, he hates it, hates it too much right now. The iffy sorrowful and neglectful emotions towards each other. It destroys every little hope Cas has in him, even if that gets him further away from the empty's deal. He nodded at Dean still facing away uninterested to say a single word to the burning walking forest. It hurts Cas to have him be like this but he isn’t going to do anything now, he’ll allow his guilt to suffocate him the rest of the night until it dies down...probably will drink a few beers of his own, maybe even though alcohol tolerance for angels is a lot higher maybe ten would do the job

Throughout the rest of the night, Dean decided to stay in his room and pondered about a couple of things. Dean sighed to himself checking his laptop throughout the night checking if there's any important information about the world going to shit as it is, Chuck already destroyed a couple of planets, and it's going to probably get worse later on. Dean wondered why things never go as planned- other than his constant anger issues and all Dean genuinely doesn't know what to feel at this point. Yes, he was planned on getting drunk that night but he decided not to. Dean didn't sleep at least until four in the morning, and if Sam went on that case Cas referred to earlier. He didn’t go, Dean assumed Cas went with Jack and Sam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again fixing any tenses that seem off!


	3. A Pill For the Mind

The Angel had been through a real and very personal bender, he once again, decided to drink as much beer as he could possibly drink. When the beer was over in the bunker the guilt and worries started piling upon him. Before he got to come back to the bunker looking like an actual mess. He went to buy a new pack of beer so the hunters would not wine over it, mostly Dean since Sam is not that much of the drinking type. He waved himself at the roads, tripping a few times since his wings felt heavy to fly right now, and his eyes were almost dilated with how much he had drunk. It's almost terrifying that an angel got so drunk, since it's almost impossible but drinking, stealing all the liquor in a stop was never a good idea, and then doing so to another shop, and another one. 

Right now he regretted being an angel since that meant he can still have a pretty clear consciousness even when he is drunk beyond comprehension. As he walked inside the bunker he almost fell down the stairs but managed to keep his balance. The Angel Headed towards the kitchen to leave the bottles in the fridge but right when he turned to walk to his room, the dizziness overcame him which caused the angel to trip again, he held his balance on the table. Everything was turning and the nausea is a new feeling he never had before, he didn't even care much to notice if someone was awake at the time, probably was but he didn't care much, he was too drunk to care

Dean came to the main part of the bunker and looked around a little, finding the angel wasn't anywhere near the map table or in that area specifically. Dean went back to the kitchen to get himself something to eat since he didn't get to eat anything that night. Finally, He did spot the angel quite literally in the middle of dealing with being tipsy “Cas-” Dean started, with he rubbed his eyes roughly, he smells the alcohol, probably already can indicate that he did drink a bit the other night. “What are you doing here?” Dean sounded a little concerned, but then again they're still trying to put their differences aside. “I thought you went on the case with Sam and Jack the other night,” Dean mentioned while he moved a little closer to Cas

Cas’s eyes felt blurry and everything sounded like white noise, it was such an awful and terrible sound. it made his head pulsate with the beat of his heart, as if someone had his mind opened up and filled it with rocks, it would umtimately explode, and the ripe melon on the sun was now no longer funny. it was even a miracle he could think a little bit with how much alcohol he had in his system, probably gallons. The Angel groaned as he pinched the bridge of his nose in the desperation of relief, he was deprived of something he can't even understand, something he could remember from his human days. It scared the living shit out of him. Castiel raised his eyes and tried to face the bumbling voice of someone speaking. 

Cas tried to focus his eyes at the taller figure, must be Jack or maybe Dean? with a little more focus he got to see a little clearer but the dizziness remained, everything was turbulence around him and it made the angel sicker. He leaned onto the kitchen table, before letting it go to take a step closer to Dean and look right at his face, too close for comfort. “I am such a big bad luck Dean” Cas's voice is very harsh and dehydrated, almost as if he had a cold. With a deep swallow, Cas kept talking now eyeing the man emeralds... he felt his own eyes droop and is now falling. _The case...The case _he thought again, he remembered his phone had at least ten new messages and a few calls, some from Sam and some from Jack. _Are they even back from the case? _he hoped so, right now he feels too sick to care____

____Dean titled his head a little in confusion, it seemed this Angel really was drunk, and he could tell. Dean sighed a little before he moved away from Cas, he checked the cabinets and found something that may help this migraine of the sort. He remembered the time he helped Cas with this kind of stuff, it was a long time ago but it should do the trick. Dean got Cas a glass of water along with some pills to treat it. When Cas mentioned him being bad luck the hunter didn't say anything about it, he knows the angel is drunk and whatever rolls off his tongue wouldn't make sense the next day, he grabbed what he needed from the cabinets along with a glass of water. Dean moved back over to Cas before he led him to sit down at the table. Dean placed the cup and the pills in front of him “Drink.” He then said, he didn’t directly look at the Angel but he wanted to know why Cas decided to drink that night as well. Dean honestly thought about getting wasted in that span of time too but he didn't._ _ _ _

____Castiel was not able to focus on the slightest of things, when Dean dragged him to the chair it felt like ants walking around where Dean's skin touched Cas, it was such an odd physical feel it made Cas wince a bit, but followed Dean to the chair either way. As he sat down the dizziness got worse. He needed to make it stop, but making it stop would bring further questions on the table, and the tense emotions between him and Dean would get worse. He jumped at the sound that must be a glass being set onto the table. Somehow louder than before. Castiel blinked and tried to focus on the glass and the pill._ _ _ _

____Dean asked him to take it. Cas groaned Dean, “I don't need pills” he said annoyed, he really wanted to disappear from the earth at the moment, because everything awful is more vivid than before. Immediately Cas regretted getting drunk, and with that grabbed the bottle of pills and took two of them before he downed all of the water. some of the water dripped down all over his neck and cheeks but Castiel was thirsty, so damn thirsty, his throat felt like shards of glass. After being done he exhaled and panted hoping the pills to do their job a bit faster “Sam- he uh” Cas tried to think harder by squeezing his eyes and forehead, skin wrinkling “uh, he called me last night...I believe they are still out for that case”_ _ _ _

____Dean went back over to the fridge to get himself some bacon and simply cooked it for himself, while the angel protested about the pills he knew that Cas would down them anyway. He placed the bacon onto the stove and allowed it to sizzle a bit, and within a few minutes, Dean had a good portion of bacon. He placed it onto a plate before he decided to walk back over and plopped himself at the table across from the Angel. He didn't look right at him yet. “They didn't come back last night from that vampire nest, I didn't expect much different. Do you want any more water?” Dean was calm actually though what he saw yesterday still bothered him in a sense he won't bring it up. Dean looked at Cas while he offered him another glass since the hunter does think he needs it. “So care to explain why you decided to go on another bender? As you'd call them” Dean inquired while he picked up a piece of the bacon and took a bite of it. He waited for a response but he'd like to hear the story or the reasoning behind it at most._ _ _ _

____Every little sound would make Cas flinch in the seat, it felt awkward, and the conversation between them now. Any conversation wouldn't work at all, quite the opposite actually this would make everything feel wrong.. especially with all the memories of Dean from that other universe and how contently he kept on looking. Cas is envious of his other self, mainly because he got to experience Dean's lips on his. Cas tried to focus now on what Dean was talking about...Sam must be very mad or disappointed Castiel has not talked or helped out with the vampire nest. It probably wasn't that big of a deal, at least he hoped so. Blue blurry eyes from the alcohol now looked over Dean who munched sloppily on his morning bacon, he swallowed harshly and reached out for the other glass of water to down it too.. _Castiel is too thirsty _but he had no idea why it felt like it mentally as well, it hurts his chest and not just his throat, he wants- Cas is trying to figure out what he wants, that’s why he went on a bender in the first place. To wash away all these stupid emotions away, obviously, it didn’t work well after all, and now that Dean questioned him about is not helping “I uh…” he shook his head gently “I needed to forget, I’m bothered with yesterday's events...that Dean-” Castiel paused and cleared his throat “he made me think.”___ _ _ _

______Dean finished his bacon, quite honestly he enjoyed it a little too much. He already assumed that the angel was having a hard time focusing therefore he got up from the table before he placed his dish into the sink. Dean finished a good portion of bacon at that time and he felt full. Dean was generous enough to get Cas another glass of water, the hunter filled up another glass before he walked back over “Made you think? what bothered you about him. He's was a different version of me... well, better well rounded and fancy and all that other crap.” Dean remarked with some curiosity he finally looked straight at Cas. Dean feels a little off even from the other day too. He may not show it as much as the angel did judging by the literal bender he went on. He wondered really why he did it, sure the events were confusing to deal with but this shouldn't have such a big impact... besides they didn't belong there so the balance of the earth was restored after they left._ _ _ _ _ _

______Castiel was getting sick in the stomach, his angel aspect would never allow him to puke out whatever his guts have, his emotions are all debris and it is impossible to fix it all; or clean it up, or even erase them. For an angel, he feels too much since his problem was always too much heart. The angel huffed out a gentle smile before he took the glass of water. This time he took slower sips. He looked right at Dean and thought of how to answer what he asked. The Angel didn't exactly know what to answer, _be legitimate with the man? lie? _he truly didn't know. he decided to be semi-honest with the man “He gave me thoughts that I shouldn't have...I am glad they left because I don't think it would be wise for them to even be in this universe” he replied as clear as possible since being drunk doesn't exactly help, especially when the alcohol has ruined his throat's moisture, thirty people who are human could easily die from alcohol poisoning with how much he drank, probably even sixty people “I just-” he took a sharp inhale “you’re a part of me. Dean, ever since I rescued you from hell seeing him made me have even more question...that's all” he lied..he truly wanted to describe how it's impossible to live without his real Dean, and how bad the Dean he saw yesterday must feel for killing his other self..but at the same time, he envied him, envied his other self for having a chance, he’s jealous. He wanted to explain everything to the dean; come clean before everything came to an end___ _ _ _ _ _

________Dean looked at the table for a few seconds before he stared back at the angel “Well yeah that would ruin the balance and all I wouldn't expect as much which is why it was good for them to leave...I didn't think something like this would rack your angel mind.” Dean sighed a little in frustration to himself. He is still wondering about this other Dean... I mean yeah he did kiss the angel on the cheek until Dean remembered that this other Dean was literally in love with the angel “Yeah, I know. I still don't know how this whole running back to hell to pick up one dude for one favor.” Dean shrugged; he’s thought about his alternate version self, not the interaction that took place. He wondered How much different it would have been if he tried giving the mark to Cas. they wouldn't be in love, would they? this is a completely different universe and they still aren't good with each other. Dean doesn't have any intentions of getting past whatever happened before for a bit of time even so the Winchesters are still screwed one way or another._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Castiel tried his best to listen to Dean's words, it sounded too heavy on his ears still, he was getting impatient with the pills he had; thank his Angel instincts to be the only thing that's making him be able to listen. His eyes were puffy and red and focused, in general, this didn’t help...he’s lost his marbles. It's definitely more than expected by something that should've been. Cas is more or less disappointed with himself, and the whole storyline in that other universe...at least they had a life, they really don't exactly have one. Cas wished to make things better, and not for God’s amusement to play around with. His love for Dean is definitely true, Cas is in love with Dean, he loves him...that's all there is to that. The rescue of him from hell was not for chores and needs from Cas._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He’s anxious for that other self of him being who he wanted to be and had a decent life even if it meant sacrificing himself. Castiel would do that without hesitation if it meant Dean would be alive. The angel sharply swallowed and huffed “You were more than needed Dean, you meant a lot to-to me” he tried to be honest here because holding back his emotions wouldn't make things better. His drunk self screamed to kiss Dean, and pin him on the table but that was a drunken thoughts that went through. Cas shivered with a cringe, he really disliked that however, Cas didn’t plan on keeping them to himself for too long “Dean, there some things I need to talk-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________A loud thud from the main bunker echoed through the whole place and then heavy footsteps going down the steps, according to the sound, two people...Sam and Jack probably “Dean?” “Cas!?” Sam shouted loud enough for it to be heard throughout the bunker_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Cas exhaled, his lips parted and he stayed quiet now facing away. “I need a shower,” he said and up from the table as best as he could, he almost tripped from the dizziness, everything hurt, even as an angel being drunk was no fun_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	4. The Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to note what is happening so I can make some sense of what is going to occur. Instead of having Amara accept the whole entire thing with merging with Chuck, she will refuse, the plan kinda works the same however Dean isn't going to continue working with death. Up to this point, he's spoken with Amara and Death already. Because the Winchesters are the Winchesters they never follow the plan. Yes, Sam is going to carry the mark and God is going to be locked up as opposed to getting his powers taken away.

Dean listened to Cas, he's still trying to process everything that did happen the other day even from time to time he thought deeply about it. Dean didn't say anything in response to him when the angel mentioned him meaning a lot to Cas, he did take note of what he said, but he isn't going to bring attention to it. He's a bit focused on getting over what happened, not a heart to heart conversation. He looked at Cas when he was about to explain something they needed to discuss but they were interrupted by Sam like usual, also, on time as well. Dean got up from his seat before he walked over to his brother “Yeah what's up?” Dean was quick to reply, Cas and Dean spoke to each other very little but he'll maybe save the conversation for another time or whenever they get the chance to. That isn't Dean's worries right now, that's way behind what he needs to focus on right now

Sam seemed to look extremely exhausted, he had dirt all over his clothes “the nest was huge- and literally right in the middle of the woods” he exhaled sharply after working everything out, he felt his muscles relax as he took the blade out and left it on the table for them to clean it up afterward “Have you seen Cas? I tried calling him yesterday and he wouldn't answer. Jack and I were worried” truth is Sam was mad too, at least yesterday. He still felt furious about not getting an answer especially after Cas offered to help them out and yet didn't come along at all. 

Castiel decided to dwell with his emotions and try to fight back to urge to puke. Thankfully he is an angel after all, and can easily control his human vessel, well his body for the most part. Cas pardoned himself from the kitchen before he left to do whatever he needed to ease this feeling of nausea and sickness. 

Dean looked at Sam “Yeah.. um, I did. He talked to me not long ago, Cas to go on another big bender. I'm not really sure why.” Dean wasn't looking at Sam when he said that, when he finished he turned back toward his brother “Seems like you had big fish to catch and kill, at least you have the half-angel kid to help you out. I wouldn't think the job would be so hard if you have benefits like that.” Dean mentioned he already declared beforehand he wasn't going to go on the trip, it seemed both Cas and Dean were not in the boat to be going to any as of now. 

Sam inhaled sharply and tried to shake off the bad feeling he is getting out of this, how God has not made a single sign, which is a good thing, it means that he has not felt anything coming from Jack “Well Dean, as you know. Jack can't exactly use his powers...It will be a beacon for Chuck if he were to do that. I don't think you'd want Chuck coming to us so suddenly.” He explained before he looked at his brother before he took something out of his bag. It was a sharp blade of the sort, he found it on the hunt. A vampire had it, the blade looked familiar from one of the thousands, and thousands of lore he had read, he needed to do some digging. “So, you mean to say that Cas bailed on us because he wanted to drink?” Sam said furiously, he left the blade in the middle of the map table before he turned back to his brother now. 

Jack had walked in after a few minutes, he opened the door before he closed it again. The Nephilim looked tired and filthy, but the familiar posture he has with a semi-forced smile on his lips was there. To him, that should indicate he was fine for the time being. He looked both at Sam and Dean trying to hide the weight he felt on his chest, the guilt eating him alive. “Dean, it's good to see you!” Jack said, his voice wasn't loud but was loud enough for him to hear. 

Dean listened to Sam closely. “Okay, point taken but I don't know what the kid is capable of these days.” Dean glanced at the blade that Sam placed “Yeah, the angel decided to go on his own personal bender for reasons I cannot even understand. He told me that those other fancier versions of ourselves made him think or whatever- I don't exactly know what that means but since he's back I guess it wouldn't matter now would it?” Dean paused for a few minutes before he continued “He went to go take a shower, I also don't remember celestials having the need to take showers unless they have some odd celestial odor I'm not sensing. You're alive too so that's a plus” Dean shrugged he looked over to Jack, the hunter was genuinely relieved to see Jack. They’ve had their fair share of hard times and good ones. Dean is still complex with how he felt about Jack but he knows that Nephilim isn’t a monster, and he is the reason they’ll be able to take down God. “Hey kiddo” Dean started with “Did you kill a lot of vampires?” Dean inquired

Sam gave Dean a confused look, bit glimpses of concern as well. Even with anger that boiled inside his gut towards Cas, bailing them for whatever bender the angel went once more. He couldn't help but also feel worried for him, lately, he has noticed Cas eating a little bit easier but also getting drunk a lot easier, and now a shower- something is wrong. Sam knows He would have replied only if Jack didn't come back in. Sam decided to leave them alone for now and finished cleaning up himself. He decided to make dinner for Team Free Will to ease his mind of the current emotions he’s trying to keep down deep within him.

Jack’s eyes had widened at Dean when the hunter acknowledged him, the smile on his lips gently became wider and his eyes softened, he felt relaxed “Yes, Sam showed me how to. I would have helped him more if I could use my powers, but I can't really do that yet” Jack said with a soft almost shamed tone in his voice, The Nephilim felt more like a burden than part of the family but Dean calling him "kiddo" gave him some hope that wasn’t there before. Jack wanted nothing but to be approved by all of his fathers but Dean is a little complicated right now. 

Dean noticed he didn't get a response from Sam afterward. this really could only mean that he is correct. It’s probably nothing, but the idea of Cas going on his own personal bender isn't new to him which is why it doesn't concern him as much. “Well at least you helped him, I'm glad you were there” Dean lightly said, while he left the kitchen to head back to the map table he placed his hand onto Jack's head and ruffled his hair causing the Nephilim's hair to stick in different directions. Dean finally departed from the kitchen, he settled himself in the middle of the bunker with his laptop, as usual, he's still wondering about the whole god situation. They can't keep doing normal cases, they had a plan and they already spoke to Amara about this and fortunately, they were able to get her as an ally on time. Dean wondered in various different ways how this would end but this is really their only one shot they have and if it doesn’t work the world would literally end. 

Jack's brows squeezed closer to one another and he tilted his head gently to the side, his hands rested on his sides, as he stood there more confused than before. Dean seems to be softer towards him and that makes him have higher hopes that forgiveness or redemption is there. either or is good enough, before Jack wasn't even sure if he would get any of these..especially after what he did with Mary. “Yes it was interesting-” Jack would talk about his experience with the vampires but got caught off guard by a large hand cupping the top of his head, ruffling up his already quite messy hair. Jack huffed in surprise and eyes followed Dean as he sat at the map table to look through his laptop. Jack contemplated if it would be okay to join him, he thought about it a bit more and he decided to do so. When Jack sat at the table, he placed his hands onto the table before he intertwined his fingers with each other to hide away the awkwardness. “Billie told me I should be strong enough soon to lock Chuck- but who is going to carry the mark?”

Dean looked over at Jack, he didn't expect the kid to join him at the table. Quite honestly it's the opposite of what you'd want to do. Sit here and ponder about how to defeat someone who can control all of space and time. Dean was in the middle of typing on his keyboard when Jack asked that simple question “I don't exactly know, I don't want any of us to take it but it doesn't look like we really have a choice do we?” Dean stopped typing and glanced up at Jack “The last time I remember, Amara and I had this weird- uh attraction to one another I didn't exactly understand it at the time but it was hard to resist her. Sammy was supposed to take the mark from Amara but that didn't work out in the end.” Dean placed his elbows onto the table, he seemed affixed on trying to find different ways out of this but he doesn't even know what he's suggesting at this point, god has played them more than he can count, He doesn't exactly understand what is happening at this point but this needs to be done.

Jack’s eyes gently squeezed each other and he squinted, tilting his head to the side and eyes wandering on the map table trying to busy his mind with anything else but worrisome thoughts. _like how is he supposed to defeat a god? _creator of life as we know it- he doesn't have any help, it will almost be impossible but he believes in himself, he has to. The Nephilim believes in Dean, Sam, and his father too. “I really hope none of us take it.” Jack started off with “I have heard what the other mark has done- to Cain.” Jack doesn't exactly know that Dean had the mark of Cain too, and he doesn't exactly need to know the details. “When the time comes, we do lock Chuck once and for good. We should go on a vacation” He’s seen Dean's exaggerated anxiety and tiredness. Jack can tell his other dad is done, he wants something good for once, something that will give him meaning. Jack reached out hesitant at first, but he grasped his dad's wrist gently giving Dean a reassuring smile “we can do this his” eyes screamed with affection for Dean, appreciation, and care, he only wishes for what's best for their dad's__

__Dean didn't realize that he was gripping onto his own wrists very roughly, yes, he's anxious about this whole thing. “Yeah, Cain is another story” Dean's eyes trailed away from Jack for a few minutes before his eyes returned back to the kid. He needed a breather himself, but when do they ever get time to themselves. The last time Dean spoke about going on vacation it was with Sam. Going to the beach, having a couple of drinks, and having all three of them initially, however, that will change because he would want the kid to be in the picture too. Dean stifled a small chuckle at Jack's comment about going on vacation. “That doesn't sound like a bad idea, I'd give anything to go to the damn beach for once.” The hunter gave Jack a smile, he felt Jack's fingers grasping around Dean's and he did relax a little. The Nephilim did inherit some of Cas’s looks or the way he glances at people. Mainly one of them with adoration and all. “I know kid, we'll figure it out.”_ _

__The grip on Dean's wrist slowly let go as he listened to one of his multiple dads. Jack thought about going on the beach, the picture of his father, Sam, and Dean, all of his dad's in the picture seemed correct but it soon faded with fear of no return. What if he ends up dead? What will happen after that? He is scared of the consequences. "Going to the Beach seems like a wonderful idea when we are done" He let Dean's hand go completely before he let it rest onto the table, now close to him but held the weight of his body. A gentle smile across his lips "I will free us all Dean, we will find a way" Now that Jack is encouraging Dean, he feels a little less guilty but even emptier. When he was born in this world for only one purpose, quite literally all his life so far has been nothing but running, hiding, death and fear...the good would last for a little bit but the bad was truly overwhelming_ _

__Dean nodded, “I know.” The Hunter looked around, he's done all the research he needed to do. Dean got up from his seat and closed his laptop, he rubbed his eyes for a second. He found it was pretty late at night he might as well head to sleep. A lot happened in that day but the alternate versions of themselves still crossed his mind every now and then, Dean isn't the only person who isn't quite ready for all of this to go down. But if anyone would take the mark to cage God it would be Sam. Dean doesn't want to risk anyone taking a mark but if that is what needed to be done to let them be free then so be it. Then again, he would never put his brother in harm's way. “Yeah, a vacation would sound like winning the lottery to California or Hawaii, I don't know what else I would expect” Dean started to head to his room but before he did he turned back to Jack for a second. “you should get cleaned up kid, you smell of vampires and whatever else was after you. Well actually, you smell in between a Werepire and a Jefferson Starship” Dean suggested, he finally left_ _

__Jack's eyes would remain preoccupied and moved almost rapidly, he was thinking of the consequences in case scenarios like _what if god were to break free from the cage? what if Amara turns against them? _are they certain everything will go as planned? His eyelids blinked and from seeing black and white. Jack was able to focus back at one of his Dad’s and what he said about him smelling like vampires..and he didn't even notice with how much stress he has until mentioned...he smells like death and that made Jack smell himself for a second, he winced before he nodded at his dad before he left the table to go wash before the stench of blood sticks to his skin___ _

____Castiel was having one of the hardest times, especially with Jack having issues with guilt, the angel knows it suffocated Jack, but devastated all of them. Cas knows what his fate is so there was no worry for himself, he’s come to good terms with what comes after they win, he is not happy yet but he will be._ _ _ _

____Dean went to his room and thought a bit about whatever boggled his mind. Dean got into bed before rubbing his face, he needed to sleep. Dean is surprised that he is even able to take the time to sleep. Considering god is literally coming whenever he wonders when all of them will be able to actually get rest. Dean turned to the side before he turned off the light, he didn't have any plans of speaking with anyone beforehand either. The plan is supposed to happen tomorrow and they have to be ready._ _ _ _


	5. The Plan part 2

The Angel woke up early, the headache from last night's hangover from the big bender he had remained, but at the very least he felt better and sober this time. He decided to cook for the Winchesters, Cas wanted to make something simple for them. Castiel searched up pretty simple instructions via his phone, he scrolled down through a couple of them. The Angel picked probably one of the simpler ones, pancakes should do. He focused too sincerely on creating this for someone something just as simple, the Angel followed the recipe. He created the batter before he poured it onto a pan, Castiel seemed to be interested in cooking. It's like his second hobby, as a matter of fact, he’s been interested in exploring more of it so he might as well start while he’s ahead. He waited until the pancakes were cooked before he flipped them over ensuring that both sides were cooked, Cas’s mind wandered. He wondered if Dean would like them, he repeated the process before he had a fairly good stack of this breakfast on the plate. The Angel sat down at the table before he intertwined his fingers after he finished with what he had made, Cas glanced down at the freshly made pancakes. It almost brought a smile on his lips, which made him happy, in high hopes Dean, specifically, Dean would enjoy eating them

With Dean being Dean he woke up a little bit later. When the hunter came to the kitchen to get his own things such as probably some bacon then head back to work, however, when he entered the kitchen the scent of breakfast hit his nose, actually it smelled good. He walked down the steps and found the angel was sitting at the table. He didn't question the reasoning Cas was there. “You made breakfast?” Dean questioned the angel simply, the hunter this morning wore his robe and hot dog PJs because that was his main attire when he heads to sleep. Dean aimlessly looked around before he walked over to the sink, He's making himself coffee right now “Did your headache clear up?” Dean simply asked since Cas was pretty drunk the other night, he isn't that used to the angel going on his own personal benders but it would make sense to ask

His eyes were lost in thoughts that couldn't compare to reality, fantasize about something domestic and the footsteps entering the kitchen woke Castiel up right away and made him look at the man, he nodded gently at the first question with a smile that pointed out his lined dimple like cheeks and creased his cheeks softly “I did a while ago...i would have come wake you, Sam and Jack up but I thought it's better not to” he exhaled at the second question, he remembered how hammered he was the day before, making the angel guilty for this said bender he willingly went through "well- I feel better after a bottle of pills" he is an angel, but he needed more than one pill to help his headache ease down "how are you, Dean?" he asked genuinely and took his hand away from the table which now rested on his lap, fixated his look at Dean, watching him make coffee like every single day

Dean, still half asleep considering he isn’t a morning person at all when it comes to the light of day. He managed to make coffee for himself. The Hunter turned around and leaned his back onto the table, he took a couple of sips of his freshly brewed coffee. Dean is still trying to process a lot of what is happening, the conversation he had with Jack last night and this morning with the plan finally being put into motion. Dean wondered how that would go, He can't necessarily think of the finer things in life at the moment but at most, at least everyone is together for now “Eh, I don't think Jack would do anything if you woke him up. Sam doesn't really receive wake-up calls from you either” Dean took another sip of his coffee “That's good.” He looked at the angel before taking a step closer to the table, he looked down at the done and well-made breakfast...well he might as well take some since it's being offered. With that noted, Dean picked up a plate and well took a little of what was there; he'll be mindful of Jack and Sam if they wanted any in the long run or maybe a little later. Dean finished getting himself a serving of the pancakes before he took a seat, and rubbed his eyes for a second. He thought about the question Castiel just asked. “Could be better.” Dean looked up at Cas while taking a bite of whatever the angel made... well actually it was good. Not that Dean specifically has any taste in anything. “Somehow when you have god playing Thanos and all I was able to sleep.” 

Castiel never gets wake up calls from Sam, Jack usually sleeps, but as little as his body needs. The Angel exhaled and raised his eyebrows, gently shook his head thinking about where they are heading out towards killing god it sounds rational and the plan sounds worse than expected to cause since when does anything go smoothly for then? The only good thing is the fact that they are together. What got Castiel's attention is Dean's answer, which was expected of him to say that “things will get better Dean, I believe so” he said and smiled at this man he deep down craves to cradle his face and explain the way Castiel feels about him, explain that this whole story is real, they are real, and that they will make things better, together. Cas appreciated Dean's comment on the food he made and gave the man a gentle smile...though the reference for god did end up confusing him. “Thanos snap?” Castiel questioned Dean, he tilted his head a tiny bit to the side with squinty eyes trying to understand what Dean meant by that

Dean's eyebrows squeezed together for a minute, he looked up at “Cas, Yes. Thanos, I made you even watch Endgame. I thought you would know what that meant” Dean finished with whatever he had on his plate, he got up from the table then after he stared at the angel deeply for a couple more seconds than needed- the usual. Dean is still trying to get over the forgiving part of this, that courses through his mind all of the time he isn't sure of what will happen but the only focus now is to make sure they are free “You know, we already have a plan and all.” Dean mentioned “God might and most likely will come today. I can't be for sure what's on this dudes mind but I know it'll be sooner than we think” The hunter walked over to the sink before he placed his plate down, no he isn't cleaning it, at least not at the moment, he turned back around to face Cas

The tip of Castiel’s fingers caressed through each of his other hand's knuckles gently, specifically thinking about how he did watch a movie with a really bulky looking purple giant called Thanos obsessive over something called infinity stones. And how he wanted to destroy fifty presents of the population, and it snapped to Cas, the angel made eye contact with Dean who was currently leaned over the sink “Dean… God is not Thanos, he will definitely destroy all of us a lot easier…” Cas paused for a second, there’s still an uneasy feeling coursing through the angel’s vessel it wouldn’t be something he’d be able to shake off so easily, he continued after thinking about it for a little. “he has done that with all the rest of the universes.” With that thought now out of his mind, he started to focus on what really matters...God is coming and sooner or later they will have to face him, His blue eyes frowned, and they got hooded more, worry obvious in his expression “I know we have a plan Dean...but I can't help but he fearful. I truly believe in us but” he paused and shook his head to look back at Dean. “We have to make this work otherwise we will be doomed, we need to be free Dean.”

The Hunter is amused that Cas would remember. Of course, he liked to introduce different types of films to Cas “I know he isn't but god the ending was something... The game of thrones ending was worse anyway” Dean turned back around and he decided to clean the plate instead. He picked up some soap and scrubbed the plate down with some soap and water. “I know, but I do believe this plan will work. Jack is ready and it looks like Sam is ready and I'm sure we will get our freedom and once we do we can finally go on vacation.” Dean thought about this for a little while, he feels this is such an unrealistic state of mind, but this was the only thing that kept him hoping at the moment. He didn’t want to do this plan in the first place but it's the only way they can get their freedom. Dean supposed he should get ready anyway, after he cleaned the plate he placed it neatly back in its original position along with the other plates. Dean started to head toward the steps of the Kitchen, before Dean left he gave the angel a firm shoulder pat before he finally departed. The plan should be in motion in the next couple of hours. Dean is confident this will work out and by the end of this, this will all be a bad daydream. 

The Angel parted lips in an endeavor to explain how he is more worried about their plan, for Sam, for Dean..For jack what will happen once god is locked away? But the truth is freedom comes first, running around as restrained mice will never give them freedom. His bad thoughts were now ignored when he saw Dean turn to wash the dishes, and noticed how callously he moved his body. Cas admired Dean, he is a piece of art. That gives the angel shivers and some of the biggest smiles. “All I want is for you to earn your freedom Dean, Sam's, and Jacks too...everyone's, I will be there for you, all of you.” He has hope, he believed in his family that the plan will work. Right, when Cas was about to get up Dean walked away Dean gave a pat on his shoulder which caused Cas to shiver. He always deep down enjoyed whenever Dean could cradle his cheeks and hug him, he would be able to feel the soul he fell for. Castiel erased these thoughts and got off the table, he needed to get ready for what is about to come

With the plan put into motion, the hunters are ready for what will happen next. The plan was simple: someone takes the mark, maybe with a little help of Amara which in that time Dean was able to convince the darkness to aid in their plan. They only needed Jack and Amara to do this, they are the only two who are able to lock up god once and for all. Death is still after their asses too, one way or another they’ll have to take care of Billie as well. Dean already messed up on his part since he initially agreed to work with her, Jack. Since he already was part of some plan; to turn into a bomb was the goal to blow up God but in the end. Team Free Will 2.0 decided that plan wasn’t going to end well, not that either of their plans would work well in the first place but this sounded a lot better than the original one. 

Dean put away a couple of things in a bag, they'll need to summon god somewhere. A place where it isn't heavily crowded- not that any places aren't crowded. God already wiped out the majority of the population and it's only going to get worse. Dean spread out a map onto the table, his index finger trailed along where they'll be doing this “Alright So, I'm going to need Amara and Jack to do what they can to restrain Chuck from doing anything further. Jack being the beacon for God to be summoned is what we need to get his attention, and once both you use your angelic magic and Amara with her half-darkness powers or whatever you call them we'll be able to take Chuck's mark. That's when Sam comes in and holds out until the mark is fully transferred” Dean explained the plan it's pretty explicitly easy as long as they know what they're doing “Billie is also still after us, we're going to need to deal with her too. She's angry, angrier than before so we can't just go in headfirst yet” Dean turned his attention over to Jack, Sam, then Cas. He kept his gaze hard on the angel for a little before he looked back down at the map, he swallowed deeply... With everything, the world is about the end and he needed to worry less about their future. He needed to focus on what was happening now and how to gain their freedom

Jack listened to his father that initially had a planned out map with Billie, do her trials, get stronger and then combust into celestial mist destruction, basically a god bomb. This would include Amara in the whole plan, but after he spoke with his family, the plan to lock him down might actually be the only way to do this. _The question is who will carry the mark? _Jack didn’t want anyone to carry something like that, especially after what he read about what it did to Cain and what it created. He is scared, but if this is the only way that everyone will get their freedom then that’s what the plan is. Jack nodded at his Dad, eyes worried sick, he looked at Dean and deeply knew how hard it was for him too. “I think I can do this” The thing is, he has to do this. The Nephelim had to redeem himself, and he needed to make sure everyone was safe. Jack can't just combust Billie will bring everyone back after. He couldn't trust her.__

__Cas’s eyes are fixated on Dean, that long stare made his stomach twirl in anxiety. _Will this be the last night he will ever see Dean Winchester? _Probably, but he needs to have faith; not to himself but their new God he needs to believe in Jack. Even if it means he won't be him becoming god. All they had to do now is lock Chuck, otherwise, this is the end, for everyone. “We will stick with this plan, and if this doesn't work” He paused, and swallowed harshly, his fist gripped “we will find another way…” He said quietly deep down he knew there is no other way if they won't succeed___ _

____Sam exhaled shakily, his fears of the plan not working are for now drowned away. He needed to believe in this, he needed to have hope “I-” he shook his head and regretted the decision “I'll carry the mark, I'll go with Amara and Jack” Sam simply stated his position with where he’ll be during this plan. Sam isn’t the happiest about doing this but if it is what it took to have their chances to get a real life then he’ll take it. This is the only shot they had, the only one that is certain to work._ _ _ _

____Dean looked back around to Team Free Will, his head turned back down at the map on the table “Okay good…” The hunter didn't like the idea of using his brother for this but this was the only way and with Amara's help he is confident this will work out better. Dean took a deep breath “We should get going then.” Dean was put away the rest of his things he packed in the process which included a weapon and a book. The Hunter turned around for a second only to find not only but Billie._ _ _ _


	6. Despair

Billie stood straight closer to the table with the scythe in her hand. She looked at Team Free Will, She wondered what the plan was and with Dean, he worked with her at the time Death felt she could trust Dean. The original plan was for Jack to prepare himself to become a literal bomb but it looked like she overheard the conversation. That will not happen, and she isn’t pleased, not one bit. She initially wanted to be a god but she isn't going to receive that and that's only building onto her anger “Hello boys” She held onto the scythe with a pretty good grip “Dean, is everything set?”

Dean looked at Death in the eyes with fury but it wasn't distinguishable. Dean changed his mind about the whole bomb situation and there was no way they were going to do the plan her way “I changed my mind.” Dean simply replied firmly. He isn’t doing this whole bomb thing, and he's not going to risk it. He trusted Billie at first but with the knowledge, he has now Billie’s plan is only for her to become God is what she wanted. Dean only worked with Billie because of his own desires. He didn’t think straight at that time since his goal was to gain his freedom. Dean was wrapped up in such a fantasy he didn’t think about it at the time, however, he had more time to think and he was back on his feet again. 

Jack didn’t expect Billie to show up, he should have expected it, he should be prepared but he can't fight her back. He needed to hold his powers for what he and Amara were about to do and the idea was simple, to lock god up. He’s stronger than any other Archangel so he needed to have faith otherwise all of this will all go in vain. He remained silent and waited for the signal, his eyes though fell on Cas, he looked furious, and that made him worried.

Billie looked at Dean “What a shame” Death sighed a little, she walked toward Dean. She was ready to do whatever she needed to get what she wanted. Oh how badly she wanted to become god since they made plans to defeat chuck. She always wanted to be a ruler and make the world the way she envisions it. The type of world she wanted is a bit darker than what god initially had at the beginning of times. 

Dean swallowed deeply, he didn’t say much at the time but he knew something was going to go down. He'll need to act quickly. Dean looked over to Sam and Jack, this should be the queue to get to it. They don't have a lot of time, and he even knew god is being held in one of the rooms by Amara currently. He spoke to Amara a while ago and he trusted the darkness to not give into God's plan at most he hoped that She wouldn’t. Dean does remember that God wanted to start a life with Amara, one without pain and one without sorrow, Chuck was able to get Amara to merge with one another and create balance but that isn’t going to happen this time. 

Jack waited for the queue, he waited until Dean turned and nodded his head. Sam and Him went the other way in a rush, he has faith and trust that Cas and Dean will stop Billie from ruining their plans, this is the one chance they have, they could not afford to make any mistakes now.

Currently being held in a different place, God tried to convince Amara to merge with him. He was able to compromise with his sister before so what is going to stop him now. Chuck tried to push Amara with lies and things that are not true. Chuck actually knew that the Winchesters might even kill her after the job is done. He wasn't going to not convince his sister to rule together. “Come on sis, we've been through everything. Don't you want this family?” Chuck tried to use his tactic of being emotional about the family they’ve created throughout light years and even after he locked her up, Amara still forgave him. He wanted to use that to his advantage. Chuck continued “the family we have. We've created something before, what's stopping us now?” Chuck questioned his sister with questions that only she would want. What she desired most. 

Amara had her hands crossed her chest, her eyes were focused on her brother. Chuck’s constant ramble will never be convincing enough, she knew what a big liar her brother was and always will be. No matter how convinced she would be and how it really sounded like. If she didn't already know Billie's plan then maybe, she'd probably trust him, however, She won't fall for his trap. she is not that naïve “You were always a liar dear brother, last time I even dared to trust you, you locked me away to rot for millennia. I am not going to allow you to leave this room until you change your mind...this..or I will keep you in this room forever” she could only hope he won't get suspicious of their true plan

Once he saw Sam and Jack leave. The Angel needed to believe that both of them are capable enough to hold chuck back. Cas charged right in front of Dean with his angel blade in hopes it would harm her so they had a chance to take the scythe from her. Aside from that, nothing would touch Death. The only thing that could do damage was the scythe itself. 

Billie expected Dean to pick a fight with her and she didn't back down too much. She expected Cas to barrel towards her but it's Dean this time. She's spoken with Dean so many times about death in general... this wasn't the way Dean's story is supposed to end. Truth was, the book was altered yet again because the Winchesters will not follow the plan. They never do, and what should she expect from the Team Free Will. If it meant killing the Winchesters to become god then so be it. 

Chuck looked at his sister “You cannot do this to me sis, you wanted nothing more than a family and It's right here please” Chuck pleaded for his sister to merge with him, he wanted to resume control but by the looks of it, Chuck had lost 

Amara shook her head in a negative movement, her lips parted as her shoulders relaxed. Her arms on the sides eased “Brother, you’ve locked me up so many years away because you loved what you created. Now that I see it, I can understand why you created it. I see how it's so imbalanced but so beautifully so, it's a sorry world, and I can't let you destroy it. So I will give you a choice, you either leave this universe alone..make whatever you want. A different one or I keep here with me for eternity.” she gave him the same choice once more, he won't listen and she knows, he is a narcissist but the plan is different. It doesn't matter what happens next because if he is locked in that was the only outcome that would work well

Sam looked over to Jack “Jack! get us into the room with Amara and god it's locked you should be able to get in there” The hunter pointed out, they needed to get in and they needed to be quick. Sam’s blood only boiled of anxiety. He isn’t sure of what to expect after getting the mark on him. He never understood what happened to Dean with the Mark Of Cain. Sam isn’t sure if he’ll become a killing machine of his own or worse. The tall hunter really knew of one thing, and that is his brother’s behavior changed after bearing such a mark.

Jack huffed out, his chest was heavy. Human emotions were hard to handle but he had to manage through. He nodded at Sam before he touched the taller hunter's arm. The Nephilim manage to teleport both of them to the correct place. He only can really hope that Amara is part of this because the worry in him will not go away, and it’s going to continue to eat him until he finally knows.

The Angel’s arm was gripped too tight or at least it felt like so, His eyes darted over to Dean before he focused back on Billie, but before he could even say how that was a naïve move of him. Dean strutted forward to make a decision that Cas deep down knew it would not end up well for neither of them but weirdly enough Billie wasn't fighting the way she should have “Dean!” Cas screamed at him angrily with the thought to fight her, Dean took the scythe the hunter was lucky enough even with such a reckless move. 

The plan was already in motion so there wasn't a chance of going back from this. However, he was able to nick Billie's arm without a lot of trouble. It actually worked, he tried to push her back that wouldn’t last for a long time. Because Billie is right there, and she's angry, there's no need to go into Death's library. Sam and Cas already had a visit; they weren't able to check the book. Dean knew that this was a dumb idea but it was the best one he had at the moment. The hunter didn't want to drop the scythe but even so, he can't keep a hold of it. Dean was frantic but subtle with his movements. He moved back quickly but wasn't sure of what to do next. Dean still looked for ways, they needed enough time for both Sam and Jack to do whatever they needed to do. He looked over to Cas, Dean took a deep breath before he turned back to Billie

Then again, Billie expected this to happen. The book followed exactly how their deaths will play out. Billie wanted nothing more but to kill Dean at this point, the conversation She had with him almost two years ago stuck with her. Dean never complained if it was his time, and he never begged for wanting to live. Billie was in shock when she was struck by her own weapon, fortunately, she did get a hold of it once again once Dean moved back. Billie was holding onto the side of her Arm Dean, Dean... I thought this day would come. Death Regained her composure before getting her scythe again, she knew how Dean would die and it's been his time since two years ago when they first had this conversation. They stole the book from her and she wanted it back. Billie did get it back but the whole story changed, it changed in a way she didn't like which is something she’ll try alter. If Dean was no longer in the story then it would change, therefore, her goal is to get rid of part of the story that shouldn't be there in the first place

With the continuous attempts to convince Amara, Chuck can't get through to her. He can't keep trying. He saw both Sam and Jack and he knew what this meant. His powers don't work, they're very low. Chuck looked over to Jack and Sam. He gulped deeply, he knew what's coming next "Sis, please don't do this. Don't do this."

Sam was ready and in position for Jack to transfer the mark. he needed to be instructed and since he had a bullet wound in his shoulder that would never leave, he had no choice but to bear the mark. The taller hunter has a little bit of chuck inside of him and Chuck has a little bit of Sam inside of him which is why this plan would work better. Sam understood what this will do to him and maybe even if it will be negative, nothing is more important to him now than ever but to get their freedom. Sure he'll have a person locked inside of him but it shouldn't change anything

Amara’s head didn't turn, she didn't look at either Jack or Sam. She softly smiled and raised her head “I'm so sorry dear brother...maybe a few millennia locked will be good for you” Her hands were now gently raised, she used part of her powers to weaken Chuck, she was able to hurt him before, and with Jack's help this will be easier

Jack’s breath picked a faster rate, and his heart pounded inside his head. He needed to focus, He had to be certain this would work. He gave an apologizing look at Sam before his eyes changed hue into a golden shine. A pulse could be seen, it dispersed lightly throughout the room's walls, it cracked and everything flew out of position, it's a miracle the ceiling didn't collapse on top of them with how strong the pulse was. Sam's part comes next where he needed to say the spell “Sam!” he shouted he tried to make his voice heard throughout the loud storm. Very much like the sound of two powerful beings trying to lock god himself, powers striking each other.

Sam raised his hands up to cover his face in a very close failed attempt to protect himself from the strong pulse of power. It was impossible to hear anything and to even stand straight but he managed to work through it, like he always did. Sam did manage to hear Jack shouting his name, that was his queue to start the spell. With each word he could feel something carve right onto his skin, around the stomach area, it was the mark that he had to bear, it burned but it wasn’t something he couldn’t handle. Sam shouted every word of the spell, and the burn of the mark got more and more painful but he ignored it, and right at the last word of the spell, what remained was Jack's last move; to secure the "gate"...secure that God would be locked for once and for good

Jack huffed out, and with whatever he had last, he groaned from exhaustion but fought through it, gripped his jaw tightly, and finally got to seal the gate. God was locked

“Dean- Dean!” Cas reached towards Dean, this is awfully bad. Both of them are quite literally cornered. He had to take Dean away from her, if only he had his wings they would fly but that now is impossible. The angel gripped the man's bicep to make him move away from death’s glaring contest with Billie. They needed to leave, if Billie got inside the locked room chuck is in, everything will be ruined. The angel’s main focus was to protect Dean he also HAS to protect dean, he has to

Dean looked over to Cas he was about to say something, quite honestly he doesn't know what to do. They were going to run out of options. He tapped his foot impatiently on the wooden floor, his mind wandered how long it takes for someone to take the mark. It got Dean more panicked by this but he needed to keep it together. Dean moved with Cas quickly enough, they closer to the entrance to the hallway but not fully there. They’re about eight feet away from the hallway, but where else would they go? Dean doesn't know what he was doing, he really doesn't he wished he didn't agree to work with death, and he wished this never happened but what happens will happen and he knew that both Cas and Dean are dead beat one way or another. 

If anything, Dean felt responsible for this to occur so quickly, he wanted to apologize and move past everything and even after all that. He isn’t worried about getting killed but the fact he's going to get Cas killed because he's naïve and stupid about it. 

He wanted to let Cas know how sorry he was, he wanted to apologize for everything he's done; from telling him he's the problem, from kicking him out of the bunker multiple times and the number of times, and how he didn't trust the angel. It wasn't the angel's fault at all, it was his and his anger that troubled his mind. By the end of the day, it was Dean’s fault and his fault himself. The only way he could diffuse the situation easily was to blame it on someone else. He can't control his anger and that's what fuels his hatred for himself. But god, god does he feel more guilt. “Cas I-” Dean was again about to say something, that was until he felt something. Dean hunched over violently with a pained noise that escaped his throat. 

One of his hands was fisted to his chest. Dean dug his fingernails in that spot, he can't breathe, he's having a hard time. every breath he took it hurts and burns his lungs. He couldn't figure what it was before until he realized it was his heart. Billie has a grip on his heart and he couldn't do anything about it.

Death was able to regain her composure after a little, she started to walk towards Dean and Cas and she knew exactly what she wanted to do. Instead of waiting for Dean and Cas, she made her way over to them slowly, Billie clenched her fist. Billie has a hold of Dean's heart, and she's slowly going to crush it. she felt his heart from here, it's beating so heavily, she wanted to squeeze it until it burst. Billie continued this motion with her hand, she’s getting tighter and tighter each time. She wanted to relish this, finally being able to kill Dean Winchester by her own hands. To her it should be an honor than anything “Dean, you had this coming. I know you can't do this forever.” 

This moment he knew, Cas knew this would be both of their end, tragedy in the human perspective but no, this is no tragedy but actually pure consequences from the dozens of times they played with death, with trying to defy reality, and what's there to be written. It’s what kept them going, what made them move away from the road that they have been forced to walk into. He was a soldier, an angel of the almighty that ended up being nothing but someone he despises. Someone that now wants them all dead, someone that has made all angels, humans into chess pawns. Cas defied god, he fell from heaven..fell for someone, someone that is at the moment shocked and obviously terrified. His green emerald eyes melting, Castiel can't stop looking at the scared hunter, he needed to help him snap out of it.

He made him hope that they would survive this “Dean-” right before he never got to reply. He didn't even get to say that they need to fight and try to hide. what Castiel is scared of, happened...Death, Billie has a grip on the man. This caused cas to gasp out of breath; this is no tragedy. “Dean!!” He rushed at the man, the angel wrapped his arms around him, he held onto him. He used whatever power he had to continuously heal Dean's heart from Billie's constant grip. “Come on Dean!” he helped him, as they stroll down the hall, he fought to keep Dean alive at all cost. Because if he died, minutes before they got their freedom, it would be considered a failure. Cas now can see a bigger picture instead of calling it a failure, he sees it as despair. Castiel can't lose Dean, he can't lose the man he fell in love with in every possible way. He can't bear to see him die like this. 

They finally reached an ending point, Billie was close, Dean couldn’t walk fast with Billie gripped on his heart. He didn't know what to do or how to help him, every second was crucial “I-” he had to do it otherwise they are both dead, his broken wings spread as he used them for a pathetic try to fly them a few rooms away. It gave them enough time to find a room for them to hide. Cas tried to help Dean inside the first room, Cas found it would be far enough. Castiel closed the door after. Dean was inside but he noticed the man still struggled to get oxygen into his lungs. he had the idea of maybe... a sigil would work as a barrier. Castiel reached out to Dean's pocket where he kept a pocket knife. He cut into his palm and used his own blood to draw a sigil on the door in hopes that will give him enough time to think of something. Anything, anything to save Dean, he can't allow Dean to die, and he won't. 

Once Dean and Cas finally made it to the storage room he still felt Billie keep a hold of him, before he knew it, Dean could finally breathe. Dean leaned his head on the back of the storage and took a deep breath. He can finally breathe, the hunter started to pace around the storage room before he made his way to the chair in the middle of the room. The more he realized the worse it was getting. Dean placed his palms on the top of the chair which has a demon trap below it. Dean looked up at Cas, he doesn't know what to do anymore so he’ll be truthful with Cas. There's no way they were going to make this out alive if Jack and Sam aren't finished. With Billie constantly trying to bang down the door this might really be their last moments together “I'm sorry Cas” Dean started with.

He looks at Cas, the face he made was with acceptance of what will come next. This might be the one time they have, and yet this will be their last. Dean still felt guilty for the angel being tangled in his own death row. This shouldn't have happened in the first place, and he regretted every bit of it. “You know what's going to happen.” Dean paused and gulped deeply. “Billie is going to get in here, she's going to kill you, then me,” Dean explained this was the reality and he needed to deal with it. His time already came a very long time ago, he's been able to cheat Death ever since he got out of Hell. Technically “Billie wanted to kill me since I was taken out of Hell.” Dean paused before he continued “It looks like there's nothing we can do” Dean placed his elbows on the chair looking down for a second before he stared back at blue-eyed Angel

Billie tried to get through the sigil by continuously banging on the door. The sigil will not stay forever and she's very ready to kill both Dean and Cas. The two people she has her mindset on, the original plan was to kill Dean but the annoying angel wouldn't let her so easily and if both of them aren’t alive in the story, it might make her chances a lot better


	7. Gloom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish everyone a happy holiday!

Amara’s powers were never so low, and but the looks of it, Jack wasn't in a great condition himself either. she couldn’t lie, she’s proud of the kid being able to maintain his calmness, and with the power, he wielded so perfectly “you're one hell of a kid young man” She said and smiled, tired, and she huffed deeply, Darkness looked over to Jack

Jack huffed tired as he looked over Amara, and smiled brightly thank you- he didn't know what else to reply, and now looked back at Sam, he needs to check on him

Sam’s body would only ache and burn at this point, but he believed it would go away shortly. as of now...he needed to ignore the aches and pains of the mark. He needed to focus on the positive “we did it” he said and huffed out a small laugh “Dean- go check on Dean-”

Cas’s fingers fell to a relaxed position and he knew exactly what was about to come. He knew exactly what would happen sooner or later and he couldn’t do anything about it. He can't cheat death again, he is trapped between a choice; immediate death or wait till their time comes. Billie is not scared of anything, she’s fearless and Castiel knows that. The blood dripped down from his sliced palm it covered every inch and crease of skin in his palm to a point where all of it was red. The angel didn't even care enough to heal the wound, he was too desperate to find a way out of this, to make sure Dean lived. He has to..until the end, there's an idea left, the only idea left “I know” he whispered, his voice was rough and tired as he took one deep breath, he turned toward Dean, looking at the man with fear in his eyes. Cas is scared, he doesn't want to leave this world like that but now looking at Dean he can see it. His happiness is right there, and Cas knew exactly what Billie is scared of. the only thing she is scared of. “There is something she is scared of…”

Castiel said he took a few steps toward the center of the room. He entered the demon trap and he’s a few steps away from Dean. He inhaled, and his breath was shaky, his eyes already started to build up with water..but somehow the angel smiled “I know…” Cas dryly gulped and took another shaky inhale “I know how you see yourself, Dean...you see yourself exactly like our enemies see you..you're destructive, and you're angry, and you're broken, you're daddies blunt instrument...and you think that hate and anger is what..drives you, you think that’s who you are..” he paused focusing on both Dean's eyes it's not. And everyone who knows you..can see it, everything you have ever done the good and the bad, you have done for the love he empathized, and gasped out a sob, the smile on his lips remained that is who you are..you raised you little brother for love, you fought for this whole world, for love..that is who you are...

The angel is overwhelmed with all the emotions, but with every second that would pass he can feel it. he is happier and he was getting happier “You're the most caring man on earth, you're the most selfless human being I will ever know” There was a long pause there he tried not to break into tears, he tried to keep it in “You know ever since, ever since I pulled you out of hell, knowing you have changed me. because you cared, I cared. I cared about you..Ii cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, but I cared about the whole world because of you.” The tears started to roll down his cheeks, but he..could swear he felt so happy, he needed to say this, he has to “you changed me Dean” He took another step closer to the man and raised his bloody hand to gently rest it over Dean's shoulder, exactly where he gripped the man the first time they met in hell. he gasped gently, he felt ready “I-” right before he was about to say it...a loud thud was heard this caused Cas gasp in shock, this caught him off guard

Dean looked at the angel come closer., he didn't know what else to expect other than their immediate death; though he was confused overall what Cas meant by he knew of one thing that scared Billie. “What do you mean Cas?” He wanted to apologize to Cas for everything that occurred. Then again he doesn't even have the time to do that, ever since the alternate versions of themselves came a few days ago. The hunter could only think, his mind wandered over multiple things. His alternate version's relationship with the other Cas's got him tangled in his own thoughts for a bit, but then again Dean doesn't understand how angel behavior works or how they communicate when it comes to emotions. 

Dean listened to the angel's whole speech. He doesn't understand why Cas was now to tell him this, out of all the times he's heard every single word Cas said. He gulped deeply while the angel continued he doesn't want this to go like this. He’s heard stuff like this before and he knows this is a goodbye of the sort... in many cases, he had no idea what to think at this point. The Hunter didn't want to hear this now, not now and not yet. Dean's eyes were got glassier and glassier by the minute he tried to hold back his own tears he saw Castiel cry for the first time...real tears with how happy he was, and how big he smiled is going to haunt Dean for the rest of his life. He knew where this was going and he couldn't stop it. This made Dean feel even more useless when it comes to these problems, it's how vulnerable Dean feels which is what he hates the most. Dean didn't look over when Cas placed his hand on his shoulder, he kept a strong hard gaze on the angel for a long time. The words that came out of Castiel's mouth sounded genuine, he's never thought about himself this way, and no one has ever told him. The only thing Dean was able to manage to get out was a deep exhale, he didn't have anything to say in response.

Dean moved his head down a little before he looked back up at “Cas-'' that was until he also was startled by Billie's continuous loud bang, the door flung right open and they braced themselves for this day, Dean can't find any options and he had to accept whatever came to him, he didn’t want Cas to be in the middle of this because it was unfair. it really was unfair for him. Dean even knew that Cas did not deserve to be killed by Billie. He looked over at Billie who approached both of them slowly “Cas please, go.” This was one final attempt Dean had, even if it didn’t work, somehow, Dean believed that Cas can still get out of there before anything else went down. His objective was to now keep Cas alive at all costs and he's in denial this was the end

Curse everything and everyone, their purpose, their stupid narcissistic ways to manipulate others, all his life, Castiel has been mentally manhandled into a soldier, did whatever they wanted him to do, not anymore, he can't allow to let this unfold the way it's unfolding, His head is hazy and now it all feels like time is moving slower than ever, Dean's side profile looked angry, furious but filled with sorrow and despair, Castiel felt useless, he felt broken, he needed to be something for Dean; To finish what he started so the empty could come and take him and Billie. Save Dean Winchester “Dean-” Cas reached towards Dean and gripped the man's arm, with a look of plead and desperation he looked up at the taller hunter “Dean, I am not going to let you die!” screamed with fury, his breathing is fast, the roller-coaster of emotions is not helping, Cas was so happy...he is so happy, but now everything is ruined...The angel was committed to his death. now it's gone, all of it, both of them are going to die “Please, look at me!” he begged, he saw Billie in his peripheral vision, his eyes locked to Dean's; The angel didn't stop smiling. “I need you to know, I need you to know this Dean..” He started off once more, his hands were shaky he raised his bloody one to caress the man's cheek, cradle it, choppily from how afraid he was, afraid that he is going to come in terms that Dean is going to die

Amara winced from the weakness, she was weak but not weak enough not to teleport where she felt Dean and Castiel be. The moment her eyes were closed and once more re-opened she stood in a room with bookshelves, a chair, a large devil's trap, witnessed Dean and Cas standing a few feet away from her until she felt it, the presence behind her, Death. Amara didn't hesitate, she coldly turned around and looked at the dying Death, ironic. Without questions..she raised her hand up and snapped her fingers, evaporating Death. She stared at the bloody smear behind and around of her "remains" but didn't care much, she instead turned to look both at dean and Castiel, he quiet was deafening but the small smile that formed on her lips after said it all

Castiel was ready to say his truth before their final breath, stare, and touch was taken from the “I lo-” he paused with the strong presence beside them now, it wasn't Billie, this made the angel pause and look to see who it was. It was Amara, even after everything that happened that left Cas in shock...she saved both of them. He felt relieved even with how nervous he was, the Angel was glad, happy even. his hand never left Dean's arm; he gripped it tighter than ever. deep down he hoped this didn’t hurt the man

Dean tried to think, his thoughts are scattered but it's a simultaneous process there's no way he could start to think correctly and properly. The Hunter needed to think about what was really happening and the reality of it. He's accepted his death by Billie herself a long time ago but this one time, this one he doesn't want to. Dean is still speechless, there's so much stuff happening at once- he couldn't even process Cas's deceleration correctly, he finally looked at the angel after he gazed at Billie who walked slowly. Dean stared at Cas instead of Billie and he's still smiling but why is what the hunter is still wondering. He heard Cas say he wasn't going to die, not here, Dean already knows the reality of it and they're both going to end up killed one way or another but he's come to terms with what will come. What does Cas need to tell him? what is this one thing he keeps trying to tell him?. Dean felt Cas's hand on his face. He watched the angel place it onto his cheek and yes it shook with fear paired with the blood that still came out of his hand. He saw Cas was again about to finish what he wanted to tell him but he Saw Billie in his peripheral view he still looked at Cas, he was bracing himself. That was until Billie randomly disappeared

Billie was still coming after both of them but she literally vanished into thin air by the only person who could control the darkness. Amara herself. Billie was no more

The hunter was left just as stunned as Cas as he looked over at Amara, he was both relieved and shocked. After a brief moment of silence after Billie was literally reduced to nothing Dean looked back at Cas they were still in the same position- at most but he moved away subtly. Dean wanted to ask what Cas wanted to tell him but they literally were both about to get killed in the same room. The hunter had nothing to say after this whole thing was much like a fever dream and he didn't know what to think at the moment, but now that everything was taken care of Dean should be a bit happier over this but for some reason, he isn't. Dean just decided to leave the room, the job was done. He went back to the main part of the bunker to see if Jack and Sam are okay.

Castiel had no clue how to form any sentence, Amara had saved them both, and as he turned his head to look at the wall of the room, behind the chair that collected dust at the center of the room, there was nothing...The empty was nowhere around, Castiel didn't get to express how he felt, he didn't even get to say a simple three words that have been buried deep down his chest, carved and carved into one large crack in his chassis to made him disobey. Something that made him have his own free will and fall in love for a human so purely humane “Dean-'' he husked out, voice gentle but the shock grained the noise of the hunter's name. Castiel didn't even notice it yet but his palm where he held Dean on the cheek, blood still gently dropped from the deep wound, he smeared blood that was on his palm all over his sleeve to try to clean it up. He couldn't bear to look at Amara or anyone but his palm.


	8. Distress

Jack was drained to the bones, he tried to gather up his own breath as he and Sam were now sat at the edge of the table in the main part of the bunker. The map looked ominous, the bunker deafeningly quiet after what happened “Sam-” Jack said pleadingly he reached out to him, he was about to touch Sam's shoulder but his hand got stopped almost right away

Sam burned up, from head to toe, the immense anger boiling off inside him was too much. The feeling of empathy was almost gone, the mark pulsed on his stomach simultaneously enough to make Sam groan from the annoyance. When he noticed Jack reached towards him, he raised his own hand to stop Jack from trying to touch his shoulder “don't, not now Jack... not now” This was a win, a big win...but they still had so much work to do

Dean finally made his way to the main part of the bunker. The hunter walked around the table, he looked at Jack and Sam. Dean felt the blood still remained on his cheek. He moved his hand up to his face before he smeared the print on his face a little, Dean is still processing what happened in the last twenty minutes. He was two minutes from dying and now he's still alive. Dean cleared this throat “What happened?” Dean simply inquired, he's worried about what the mark will do to Sam because he remembered what the mark of Cain did to him, that's sort of his worries at the moment but the whole situation with Cas was something he still needed to process and the only way he found a way to distract himself is with what happened with Jack and Sam by the looks of it, yes the plan worked in the end but where did that leave them now?

Sam panted as the grip on the flannel he wore got tighter, fist on his stomach as if he could scream he would “ I need a shower” the water was definitely not warm, but that wasn’t what he needed now. What he needed was one very cold shower, the burn wouldn't go away no matter what. A shower could make the miracle happen, asr Dean's comment, and the blood smeared all over him, somehow he just didn't care. He walked away from the room and didn't make him feel guilty

Jack watched Sam walk away, and allowed the tall hunter the space he wanted, he carried such a burden it can be frustrating. He turned to look at Dean in an instance he noticed the bloody print on his shoulder and one that was faded on Dean's cheek. Jack jumped from his seat, He lost his balance for a moment before he ran towards his dad “Dean- are you hurt?” he raised a hand with two fingers ready to tap Dean's forehead until he noticed something, the blood smeared on him wasn't his “Wait…” he frowned and as he figured it out. Jack looked up at Dean with worry “Cas, where is Cas!?” Jack knew about Cas’s deal with the Empty and the only reason he wouldn’t be there if he was taken by it.

Castiel allowed his hand to fall to the side, now it had finally stopped dripping. the Angel made his way towards the main part of the bunker, the angel felt lost in his own thoughts, each step felt heavy and forced. When he reached the main part of the bunker, he raised his head to look at Dean and Jack just made his chest pulse, his heart beat faster. They did it, they’re finally free. He didn't move any closer to them and the way he looked were just small glances that were filled with awkwardness, shock, and obviously still processing through what just happened. His lips parted to speak; to say anything more to make the silence break, but Dean spoke first. Cas jolted slightly and just gave Dean a nod but the eye contact was avoided. He heard a few footsteps come closer to him. Cas turned a bit to look at Jack that was now close to him

Amara the moment she took care of Billie decided to leave, she went off to fix what her brother had done to the rest of the planets, but he doesn't have much hope for that, she is Amara after all, darkness. 

The Hunter watched Jack rush over to him so quickly, and no he wasn't hurt. “No Jack I-” Dean looked at the kid he was about to heal him but the Nephilim stopped. He looked at Jack with a blank expression for a couple of seconds “Cas is fine, Billie didn't make it out which is good” Dean simply replied he turned around when he heard the Angel come back into the room, it feels so surreal to think about it but they were finally free. Something that was well deserved for a long time, every living human thing is back on earth and the news is already all on it. Dean exhaled deeply in relief, even so, why doesn't Dean believe this. He still didn't make eye contact with Cas, he needed to clean himself up and he needed to settle down because there was so much to process in that time "I'm going to go get cleaned up" Dean mentioned, that broke the random tension that might arise from how quiet it was

Jack let his dad go take the shower he wanted, he gave the space Dean needed “Castiel” Jack said in a very soothed but a worried voice. His father was hurt and by a single glance of the hidden wings; they looked drained, damaged, grace wasn't flowing through them, it was low in general “Let me…” He reached out to his father forehead and with a gentle tap, Castiel's grace was regenerated and the wounds were all healed but he couldn't fix Angel's wings even if he tried… he isn't God after all

Castiel gasped at the strong radiance of power flow in his body, this awakened his angelic side to full potential once again. His eyes glowed a gentle blue before Cas blinked and exhaled after he was healed "Thank you Jack" he is so proud of Jack..

* * *

The Hunter was able to calm down after some time. He was able to take in the fact that they are finally free. As much as Dean should be excited by this news he isn't. He is somewhat content but something is bothering him. Dean earlier got cleaned up and took a shower as well, he went to go check on his brother earlier but Sam doesn’t seem to be in the mood for the company at the moment. He will respect that so he’ll stop bugging his brother for now. Sam doesn't seem himself but the way this whole situation went affected everyone some sort of way, another thing that bothered Dean is what Cas wanted to tell him. That whole entire speech he made Dean couldn't make out half of what the angel was saying, if he got some clarity for it would be nice. 

Dean wasn't able to sleep, his mind was a bit clouded at the moment and he needed to find relief. He went back to the main part of the bunker, Dean sat at the table with the carved initials; Sam's, his, and his mother's initials in it. Dean sat at the table with one small light on, one of his legs extended towards another chair while he kept one of them up. The hunter had a glass of whiskey in one hand and he slowly took it down, he didn’t plan to get drunk but the relief of having a drink at this hour was enough for him. Dean gazed aimlessly in front of him, he's technically looking at his foot but other than that his mindset seemed to be in another place at the moment. Dean exhaled deeply. He's really wondered what he’ll do now. He could give up this whole entire hunting business, which is what he initially wanted to do but then again, he loves doing it but when does he ever know when enough is enough?

Throughout the rest of the night Castiel kept looking at his palm from time to time, since he has his own room this gave the angel more private space and even though the angel didn't need to sleep, it still helped him relax mentally and physically. His back would ache from now and then per se the reason he hunches over a lot, somehow he can easily remember how soothing it is when Dean touches his back. It’s almost like the pain goes away, to have molted wings will, unfortunately, remain a problem that will cause the angel a lot of pain. Castiel was laid on the bed, trench coat off, the noise from the tv of people when they talked faded into a white noise to Castiel. 

His eyes were locked onto his palm still. Everything that he said to Dean moments before he believed their death was upon them, came crashing down his thoughts and it just made his whole face flushed, a deep red color that spread on his cheeks, he didn't know if it was an embarrassment, worry, or probably both. “Dean…” He huffed out and gripped his palm and raised it up to cover his eyes. He could see the look on Dean's eyes, it scared Cas so much, that left him, left his broken human alone, and now that was God is gone. He was glad that he got to stay, but the empty deal is still a thing..which is alright, as long as Castiel remained quiet about his true emotions, everything will be alright. Castiel shut the TV off, he got off the bed to grab his coat before he left his room to head out at the main part of the bunker. This is right when he noticed Dean sat there with a leg up on the other chair, and a glass of whiskey in his hand. Cas didn't expect him to be awake at this hour but then again, this is Dean Winchester “why are you up?” Cas asked to break the silence

Dean had finished his second round of whiskey, he was going to try to sleep then, even then he saw Cas. The hunter's attention aimed toward the angel then. The thoughts of his complicated emotions ran wild. “Couldn't sleep” Dean kept it vague, at most he gave an answer because he’s still having problems with that. His voice was deep, gravelly, more scruffy and tired sounding but even so he still couldn't return to rest so instead, he asked Cas the same question “I guess I should be asking you the same thing, I know you don't sleep and all but why are you here?” Dean inquired

Castiel raised his hand gently, and made it go back as his lips parted, his posture was awkward, shy even as he took a few more steps to sit at the table, he didn't look at Dean yet but decided to try and talk with the hunter, even with the ambiance being very complicated “as you said..I don't sleep, so I thought to come here and read a few books…” truth is, he deep down feels slightly worthless now, but at the same time, this is good...Jack can make angels or awaken the ones that died, he could try to fix heaven a bit..and maybe just maybe but Jack isn’t God, Cas could try helping him out..but as of now, he doesn't even have wings. After many hours since what happened with Billie, he turned to look over at Dean, blue eyes trying to connect with emerald ones but it was like seeking for a magnificent thick forest in the middle of a cement city

Dean didn't move or anything when the angel took a seat. Well, guess this is company. Their situation is still a bit complicated but being in an almost death situation he might as well set it aside for now. Dean leaned his head back onto the chair for a second before he returned to his normal posture. He finally connected his eyes with Cas, after a day and a half of just not looking he finally did. At least he knows what Cas is doing back around here. Dean placed down the glass, he sat up a little more “Cas, What was that in the storage room?” Dean cuts right to the chase, he didn’t believe that he'll get an answer so quickly but he wanted more information, he wanted to understand what happened back there “We almost died and you gave some speech to me, I didn't really get all of it” Dean admitted, this might ease his tension or confusion with what it was and what the Angel wanted to tell him

The Angel finally connected his eyes with the man and it felt liberating in a very weird way, it felt almost surreal to look into this deep beauty, he could never live without it. The question was expected and Cas had to prepare himself for it..and now that's actually asked, he deep down doesn't want to lie, he just wanted to be genuine with everything, even maybe, just maybe, finish what he wanted to say. With a deep inhale he decided to just go for it, and talk about it...obviously, not everything would be told yet “What I said Dean, I meant every word of it” he said, and glanced away before he returned his gaze back into Dean's eyes “you are of the most wonderful and selfless human beings I will ever know. you are... “ He stopped himself there, eyes softening. Just looking at Dean makes the angel's heart flutter, he needs to stop “you are the most loving human being.” He said with an exhale and gentle smile

Dean listened to Cas closely, He tried to wrap the words around his head but that didn't fully clear up. The last phrase that Cas was so rudely interrupted by; He actually smiled a bit at the statements that Cas said while sitting just right across him. He's rendered speechless but he isn't sure of what to say, thank you? or something that would be the blandest answer. He's not really intoxicated and he isn't quite sure how to assess this without it making it too awkward “You were about to say something else” Dean cut Cas off after he finished the last line “I don't know, you seemed desperate to tell me something else other than all of that” Dean may be a bit pushy at the moment but he felt it might be something more, he just wanted to be right about this, but he would need that confirmation from Cas

The Angel’s iris got a tremendous amount smaller, his throat rippled with one very dry swallow as the angel awkwardly cocked his head to the side, he faced away from Dean. his fingernails chimed gently at the table, he contemplated his decisions, he didn't know what to reply with. Cas really didn't and the glimpse of hope in Dean's eyes said a lot of things to Cas but deep down, he just knew what he wanted is something he couldn’t have “I just wanted to…” he stopped there, and gave it a seconds thought, he has no choice and went with it “I just wanted you to know how important you are to me Dean...the last thing I wanted to tell you is that. I want you to continue with your life..because what I was about to do would require me to die…” he is guilty but he had to keep it inside him, for Dean's sake. The angel reached out his hand over Dean's glass of whiskey and took a sip himself before he held it there, he glanced at the flare of the glass that reflected a soft white hue “what I want Dean is something I know I'll never have. I can't have...but being there is what matters, it's what gives me happiness” that was a lie, he deeply wanted to hold dean right now, even try...kissing his lips that probably smell heavily of the same cheap whiskey. He just took a sip out of, Cas can only imagine

The Hunter’s fingers were closer to his mouth while he listened to the explanation about the idea of him carrying on even without the angel. That would've been hard to do. Dean felt a sharp sting with every single sentence, it felt like a blade slowly easing through his bare flesh every single second, and he would even know what it felt like. He wanted to leave the main part of the bunker right now. Dean watched Cas take a sip of his whiskey, Dean got up from his seat immediately, he moved the chair back in place. “I guess something to do with wanting to stay alive is all that would matter in this world” Dean simply said, he was about to kind of get angry, a bit more sorrowful than angry, he's quick with his movements, He literally was about to ramble on. “I thought-” Dean paused right there, he wasn't going to continue. His eyes were already brimmed with fresh tears and he wasn't going to break down then and there. Not in front of Cas. Even after everything, it was always about living, it was always about surviving, Dean tore his eyes away from the angel before he departed from the table. He's done for tonight. He got what he needed, and he thought he knew deep down. But it turned out, he was wrong the whole time. Purgatory, he wanted to say something, but he didn't get to.

Castiel watched the hunter frown with every word that came out of Angel’s mouth. He knew he broke Dean, made him feel fractured like porcelain; sensitive, one singular poke and it could crack. It's how Cas portrayed Dean's heart...shattered hundreds of times to just be poorly put back together. Castiel's eyes frowned as well, he watched him get off the chair. The look he gave him, crashed everything inside the angel. He noticed the droplets that gathered in Dean's eyes, the reflection of mirrors like lights passing through them. He knew, and it made the guilt stronger than ever “Dean-” he tried to speak as he got off the chair. The Angel looked at the man walking away before he even had the chance to reason with him; ask him what he thought of, what this even meant. Castiel loves the hunter, he always had been the main part of his celestial life, his immortality that he so much desired to end for the sake of this righteous man who just walked away from something Cas knew was his fault “I'm sorry Dean…” he is pretty sure Dean didn't even hear what Castiel just said, and it's for the better this way..this way they are safe


	9. Mint Condition

In those couple of weeks, Dean had time to finally get his life sorted out. Dean still would hunt as a secondary job, he was able to apply for one new one, mechanical engineering sounded interesting to him before he wanted to be a firefighter at first, but in a way, he is his own kind of firefighter. Being a hunter isn’t exactly the same, however; the job is dangerous, and it’s still saving people So in his book they’re achieving the same goal. Dean got the job, and he goes every so often. Dean slowly eased into this new job and new lifestyle; he doesn't hate it. He knew that Jack liked to stay at the bunker to still aid with the hunting, and Sam is doing whatever he wanted. Dean felt a bit disconnected from the other people in the bunker. The last time Dean spoke to Cas was when that near-death experience happened. 

He completely ghosted the angel. Dean didn’t make an effort to speak with him ever since their whole entire conversation. He knew that Cas picked up in cooking and that's about it, their conversations are one-sided and only one word that was the most the angel got. The hunter had been fairly spaced out, he rarely is ever in the bunker during the day. He did get the time to spend time with Jack for a little, just as much as he liked to introduce things to Cas since Dean tried to ignore Cas. He’s done these kinds of things with Jack instead, he never got the chance to be with Jack but thankfully he now had the opportunity to. 

Dean was in the process of trying to speak with his brother, he knew that Sam hadn't exactly been himself lately, he'd gotten the key from Chuck and hadn't been acting normal. Other than that Dean is pretty content with everything, the only difference is that he isn’t on speaking terms with Cas. The hunter finally let's go of attempting to help Sam. Dean walked to the main part of the bunker he sought for Jack

To Castiel, Dean seemed to shun away every time he'd try to say more than two words. This has happened multiple times, it's nothing new to Cas. He’s done the silent treatments to Dean, but not that long. He will have to talk to Dean at some point, but it probably would be pointless. He knew Dean more than anyone; he is angry, at times reckless, and he’s exactly the reason behind all of this. Castiel is to blame for this because he lied, but it's for the better, or at least the angel thought it was. For now, he decided to work to make his life more humane, he wanted something to focus on other than almost non-existing hunts, monsters, and everything. 

He was free in a way, freedom without happiness. Castiel had grown fond of cooking but mostly baking, he’s yet to show his skills to Dean, or Sam, neither Jack and maybe he will someday because he truly has been taking great feedback on his classes, he’s more than happy to show off what he learned. The angel was intrigued with the pie crust and pie filling classes and managed to make those pies to perfection, he won't be back home anytime soon. he still has a few more lessons to do...human life truly confused him even to this day, but he is getting the hang of it

After God has defeated the mark was handed over to Sam, with him now having it was a burden in itself. They all hope it won't cause the same obscure effects to him as it did with Dean, so far Sam seemed to be doing fine but Jack can't help but worry over him, and how it affects his ability to feel empathy or have anger issues...almost like his soul was flaking away. Jack currently sat at the main part of the bunker, reading a few books that humans call biology.

it's a big book but he’s been trying to learn more about this world, he was born four years ago so to adapt to this world in the human way he needed to do his own research; with some help and the internet he’s been able to learn a bit but since he has a book now he might as well read that. His eyes looked towards the end of the bunker after hearing look footsteps that must be from Dean's boots Dean Jack said with a wide smile and an excited manner, happy to see his dad

The Hunter found Jack before he came up the steps “Hey kid” Dean replied, he acted as if he was happy. He's been acting as if everything's been okay and all. For the most part, he'd say they did get what they wanted, but even everyone is so detached in the bunker. The hunter is barely home, Cas is barely there, and Sam... Sam usually stays in his room from time to time, he does come out but he doesn't speak to anyone else. Dean really only had Jack to speak with him consistently. And hell, he doesn't even know where Cas is the majority of the time... that should be the least of his worries, in those couple of weeks, he was able to take Jack fishing for a little and also do a couple of other things, hunting wise a little but not too much of that. 

Dean invested in getting Jack to be film and pop culture savvy too. He tried to crack jokes from time to time but Jack doesn't take them as Cas does. Dean tried not to think about the angel too much but whenever he saw Jack really that's all he can think about. “I thought about heading out for a movie later tonight, you can come with me if you want?” Dean suggested he really only came to ask Jack if he wanted to come. If not, he'd probably go himself anyway, also He hasn't mentioned The Angel and him in those couple of weeks. It's nerve-wracking for the most part but Dean is Dean, and he tries to ignore everything. This is probably the longest he's gone without talking to Cas. There have been times it took a few days to a week but not this long, he could never

Jack held the edges of his book, paper-thin enough that it rippled and a loud clap like the sound was heard as he closed it, dust flew onto the air while doing a said thing but the smile was visible looking at dean contently, he dad was one spectacular human being and their time together has actually enlightened Jack about the world and how it is. His favorite thing to do with Dean is fishing, he liked movies but those pop-culture jokes he cracked from time to time Jack doesn't understand them, as for the references, he sometimes gets them, but so much. 

Either way, it's something that brought joy to the Nephilim “Movie out tonight?” He thought about it, he really was invested in studying tonight but maybe going out for a movie to the cinema would help Jack relax and ease his mind from his usual overthinking behavior “of course!” Jack replied but he was uncertain in his voice, what he had noticed from the hunter is signs of indifference, ignorance towards Castiel

He wished to ask and find clues over why Dean acted so happy but somehow his soul looks so hollow “Dean I-” he stopped there, asking Dean will not get him anywhere, Sam had taught Jack to never ask dean questions about his mental health, anything else that needed to be addressed Dean will talk about “How's Sam, have you talked to him today?” Jack lied, he knew exactly how Sam is, but anything to avoid the question that will get Dean to leave almost immediately

Dean watched Jack close the book, he had both of his hands on the chair in front of him. He had his hands propped there just looking around a little. He didn’t pop any other questions but Dean was actually happy that Jack would come with him. He removed his hands from the back of the seat and stood straight back up. “No, I haven't been able to get a hold of him in a whole week, He doesn't want to talk” Dean grumbled, he still sounded a little angry that Sam wouldn't talk to him, he isn't going to pay attention to that for a very long time, “I think this whole thing might level out over some time” Dean even knows deep down that's not the way it works- but he's trying to hope 

“Oh, the movie we're going to watch is Godzilla. I think he's about the size of an angel and probably smaller” Dean slipped in that comparison, it seemed even with that he couldn't get Cas out of his head “I guess, just, let me know when you're ready then we'll get going. I'm going to drown myself in buttered popcorn” Dean smiled at Jack, he did enjoy the full few weeks of activities with Jack, therapeutic to say the very least aside from hunting all the damn time

The Nephilim’s head tilted a tiny bit to the side with a confused look, the frown oddly familiar to his father's frown, and the movement of his head were identical, scarcely enough that it looks copied “Godzilla, didn't we watch that movie?” He didn't know there was more than one movie about the same exact subject, but either way, he is interested to watch it. With a bright smile Jack gave his dad a nod before he left his seat “I will go dress up then, also I'd love to drown myself in popcorn too if you do not mind getting me some. 

The last time we went to the cinemas we didn't even watch a movie..but the candy aisle was so good, even with my stomach hurting after eating so many” he said with a chuckle, Jack finished the line happily, he remembered how nice that day was. As for the angel being bigger than that monster, he will agree to that. Castiel is monstrous, taller than a Chrysler building even if that's what he compares himself most of the time, that got Jack to research about building structure, it's amazing what humans can create with knowledge and their hands.

Castiel had driven his way back to the bunker with one of the cars from the garage most of them Dean won't use, but Sam used them for Eileen and him when doing cases, he wondered where she is most of the time but as far as she knows is that Dean and Sam get constant updates that she is perfectly fine. As he parked the car in the garage and as he reached the main bunker door, he held the quite big box of freshly baked pie tightly, the angel unlocked the door to enter and closed it behind him after. 

His eyes quickly fell to where Dean and Jack stood where they spoke about something that Cas had no knowledge of as of now. The angel cleared his throat as he walked down the squeaky metallic steps slowly, scared for the box of fresh baked pie to fall out of his hands. He walked after towards the table to leave the box there, he placed his hands inside his pockets “Hello” Cas avoided looking at Dean much, but he did give him a glance. The room has a strong scent of apple and cinnamon from the pie

Dean was about to walk out of the bunker to head to his room. He looked over to Jack and nodded in content to him wanting to drown himself with the snacks from the theater. Dean was about to leave the main part of the bunker that was until he ran into the angel. At this point he couldn't avoid Cas, he looked at him for a second. He noticed that Cas was somewhat looking down, his eyes trailed down to the pie that the angel had in his hands. Would he question where Cas has been? yes, but not this time around, Dean subtly kinda bit down on his tongue closer to the cheek of his mouth. Dean doesn't make an effort to say anything to Cas, the usual silent treatment given throughout these days, his mood was actually good, until this, he tries not to pay too much mind he just gulped deeply. They finally stood toe to toe after a couple of weeks, he would move his way around the angel but for some reason, he just stood there awkwardly

Jack’s face lightened up once he saw his angel father Castiel, He looked at Cas with pure and gentle eyes, excited much cause he was going out with Dean tonight to watch the movie with one large lizard “Cas!” he almost screamed but did say his name loudly, his eyes fell right on the box placed over on the table. Jack knew right away that this must be one of the baked goods that Cas made at the classes he goes to, without any hesitation Jack reached out to grab the box and open it. The pie was still heating up slightly and the smells of sweet apples and cinnamon got even stronger. Everything about the pie was amazing.

“Did you really make this?” Jack said amazed, he peaked up at his father, he saw Cas just gently nod which got Jack even more excited and happy, thankfully there were plastic forks inside the bag. Jack just grabbed one fork and dug right in

Cas felt warm to his chest, his heartbeat gently, watching Jack so happy and excited and eating the pie, it gave the angel comfort, but glancing back at Dean that comfort went away. Butterflies ran around his stomach, almost like a tiny cage with many birds inside trying to free themselves. He didn't know if it was the love for the hunter, or the anxiety and tense emotions that grew massively the last few weeks is that affected him most physically

Looking back at Castiel and glancing over at Dean, the signs of tension were obvious. The Nephilim Swallowed almost too close for comfort and with one peak over his books and laptop, he thought of something actually his eyes fell over Dean now, letting the box back down on the table, a smile implanted on his lips still “how about you and Cas got to the cinemas tonight?” Jack suggested “I really have to study”

Dean watched the kid shove a piece into his mouth, he didn't say anything but the temptation was there of course. He shouldn't be thinking of this but the more he does the more he wants it. He has self-control so he stopped himself. Dean didn't expect Jack to suggest such a thing considering he would think Jack knew they aren't on speaking terms. Dean almost choked on his own saliva just with the idea of that. The hunter took another deep breath and he sharply inhaled “you know what I'm going to go myself then. And that's, uh, fine Jack you can continue studying.” Dean simply said, a bit quietly. He's going to shove the offer aside, depressing to see a film himself but he's been doing this more than he could count whenever he does want to. 

The last time he saw a movie with Cas was "Tombstone" even so he did before enjoy seeing it with him but now it would just be...awkward

The Angel’s eyes raised up towards Dean, if he thought Cas was oblivious of the temptation he just had to shove a piece of the pie himself would go unnoticed by Cas. He is naive and it sort of made the angel smile. As for the idea Jack threw out of the blue, it made Cas almost gasp but he only tensed up even more, the more the thought about though. The more he wanted to go with Dean...maybe he could insist “No, Dean.” He said, and after weeks of no words to each other, Castiel finally pushed himself to take a few steps closer to Dean, blue soft eyes focused on the man's calloused shaped face, a Greek God, a sculpture that was made to perfection...The angel has truly missed looking at the hunter's details “I'll go with you…” He said with a gentle voice, the same way he called out Dean back in the day, softly...lovingly even, Castiel's purpose was not to make things awkward but he wants to at least start talking with him again

Again with the pie situation, he isn't going to take too much thought into that, Dean will probably get some later, preferably when the angel isn't around. Even at four in the fucking morning or something because why not. The hunter was taken aback by Cas who stepped forward and said no to him- well... guess he isn't going himself. 

Dean looked at the angel, yet hearing the phrase "I'll go with you" sat with Dean. Dean sighed a little, he just nodded, he had nothing else to add to that. Dean moved away from the angel, he didn't shoulder check him he completely moved to the side and he headed towards the back of the bunker where his impala stays. he waited patiently in the car, his hands were on the wheel. Looks like his all no talking streak was over in the meantime

Castiel didn't talk too much and just accepted Dean's nod...though by human standards, going to the cinema with clothes like the ones he's wearing right now would look bizarre and too fancy. He instead took a quick rush to Dean's room, found tight fit black jeans, a black t-shirt, and a blazer that seemed to be never worn, weird. Cas wore it and quickly brushed and checked if he looked decent enough. After he finished up, he went to the garage where Baby is parked. The angel opened the front door of the passenger's seat and entered, he didn't look at Dean but he did sigh gently “let's go” he said with a soft low voice


	10. Cinnamon Apple Pie

It didn't take long for them to drive to the cinema. The last time Dean’s been to one was a couple of days ago. He's been able to catch up on a lot of old films he used to look at when he was a kid. Dean was lucky enough they were playing at the time. When they arrived Dean parked Baby and got out, of course, he waited for the angel to leave the car. He didn't question Cas literally wearing some of his clothes, he didn't think that the angel would dig into his wardrobe, not that Dean ever cared that Cas would. It’s still a surprise Dean washed away whatever thoughts he had at the moment, he locked the impala before he headed in. Dean took the time to stay in line to get something to eat, he stuck to the whole popcorn thing but actually he was quiet while he got his things and acquired tickets for the both of them. 

The most he spoke with Cas was when he asked if he wanted anything from the snack section. He forgot that Castiel was an angel for a good solid five seconds, he facepalmed himself internally with even asking in the first place since he just remembered that angels do not eat. As Dean recalled Cas called the taste of a peanut butter jelly sandwich being nothing but molecules. After that whole process occurred they headed for the theater. Dean was able to get some seats in the back rather than the front. The movie wasn't going to begin quite yet because of commercials and all so he settles himself in one of the seats, they were closest to the isle which is convenient for Dean if he needed to leave at any given time

they walked inside the Cinema, Castiel’s eyes fell all over the place, the scent of baked popcorn, kids holding something called lightsabers after coming out from the theatre that just played one recent movie called star wars, and people waiting in line to get at what I seem like cheese with chips called nachos and popcorn that he already knows Dean will enjoy getting the most, he remembers while watching "Tombstone" with him, Dean had a big bag of buttered popcorn, he didn't try any of it cause everything still tastes too much like molecules, but maybe tonight he will try eating some of it, he did try out a chocolate bar a while ago anyway. 

When Cas walked in he started looking up around in awe, there were so many bright colors, televisions replaying trailers, it was loud and crowded but he didn't mind at all, it was intriguing yes but also weirdly entertaining, it made him almost happy. When the time came and Dean signaled to move one, he followed after the hunter to the room where they would watch the movie. It was large but the screen was a lot bigger than Cas had anticipated it to be. They soon found their seats that were closer to the back. Cas was slightly surprised with the lights when they shut off, then the ads started playing he didn't care much, just waited for them to be over. but while they played he did give Dean a few glances. Cas even started to fidget a bit with the edge of his sleeves since the clothes he wore actually at least a number larger than what he usually wears lately, he almost missed the feeling of oversized clothes on him

Dean did watch how Cas was in the main part cinema, he looked at him a couple of times. The angel is indeed very inquisitive when it comes to new places. really the only places he would show the angel movie is in his "Dean Cave" other than that he hasn't done much else. He didn’t look at Cas when the angel glanced over at him, he's trying to figure out a way to juggle this big box of popcorn- actually, he might save some for Jack later if he wanted any. But after some time the movie started playing once the lights dimmed down fully. 

Dean immersed himself fully in the film because the hunter is a big movie watcher it would only make sense. He didn’t move a lot once it started and really his focus was locked onto the said movie. He's seen it before but it'll never get boring to him. Dean would recall when his mother would enjoy films such as these with his Dad, his mother was more of a pop culture-savvy person than John ever was but that never stopped him from still enjoying these films. Maybe he was a little too young to be watching these kids. He can recall when his mother would sneak him into some of the rated R movies but that never stopped Mary from doing it, and quite frankly Dean wasn't bothered by it either. He did finally look over to Cas a little trying to see some of his reactions. A lot of them looked of a mixture of perplexed and even more inquisitive

Castiel never understood these sorts of movies, it always gets him to have questions but he can appreciate human art, and this is a form of it. This made him curious and made him want to learn about them a lot more since movies are also something Dean quite frankly enjoys watching. The angel will not lie, he found it nice to look out and get him into a good mood, focused on the movie, and ready to find what is gonna happen next, no matter the movie. While he focused on the movie his arms were now resting onto the handles gently, fingers callus over the harsh leather he gripped it with the tip of his fingers...Cas didn't even realize what his hands were doing, he should probably ask Dean to give him a bit of popcorn but he couldn't care less about food right now. The move somehow managed to magnetize the angel's interest

The Hunter snaked his fingers over the handles as well, not that he was doing this on purpose at least not at most. Dean looked down at Cas's hand, at first kinda not but not really brushed his fingertips closer to the angel's hand not fondly or in an affectionate way really; it was more just a small thing, for a second that was before he actually fully laid it on top of Castiel's hand. Dean's hand is a little bigger than Cas's so his hand would completely cover the angel's fingers fully. Dean didn't pay too much attention to what he was doing. Honestly, he was doing this self consciously without even one thought. Both Cas and he haven't talked in so long, deep down Dean would miss seeing Cas every now and then, but doing this gesture seemed to both basic instinct and not even knowing what he's doing.

Castiel hyper-fixated on the movie, his senses were not under his control. The feeling of warm hands, rough skin over his hand felt weirdly comforting, and without even yet realizing whose hand it was, he didn't even hesitate and turn his hand gently. He slowly intertwined his fingers with Dean's, Cas slithered his between longer, thicker fingers that were adapted from battle, and Cas knew that these hands had beat him up, bruised the skin, he now can call his own. They alone felt good, felt nice to have Dean's palm over his own smaller one, it gave Cas a sense of comfort, his body even relaxed. He is still not even close to realizing what he is doing, what he allows deep down beneath lies that he forced out of his mouth a few weeks ago. He knew what he truly desired, and that is closure from the man he so much loved.

Dean didn't expect that, he didn't think Cas would return the gesture by intertwining back. Castiel's hands were also very warm and soft; he would always crave the touch, the small ones like whenever he would get healed by the angel mainly. 

Compared to what Dean had, Cas's hands were still somewhat big but his fingers were a lot skinnier than his. Dean closed the gap and kept his hand interlocked with the angels. He liked that their hands fit perfectly with one another...he's probably enjoying this more than he should, with this the hunter thought that Cas is reciprocating in a way, would it be safe to go a little further? Dean still has yet enough courage to gain from these small gestures so in return after their fingers clasped with one another they left it there for a good majority of the movie. Dean decided, he started to move his thumb across the angel's knuckles typically this would be an affectionate thing you wouldn't necessarily do with your friend or best friend. Dean was a little hesitant when making this decision but he hoped that Cas wouldn't mind.

Castiel kept his hand locked with Dean's..he has not even realized what he is doing, he allowed himself to be happy for this short period of time, or at least he thought it was. From now and then he's grip his palm on Dean's as some sort of sign that gave out closure, love even...but he shouldn't do this whatsoever under any circumstances cause too much happiness, the hope of being with Dean will soon be the end of him, cause even with God gone, the deal with the empty remains intact, but he cannot help and think of how nicely their hands fit together, how his fingers kept bumping over the hunter's veins, how rough get gentle they were, it made the angel happier every second, his instinct screaming, beaming with joy...until he felt the trigger point that woke the Angel up, the most wonderful feeling he could ever ask for, 

Dean's thumb gently caressed his knuckles and that alone made Castiel huff out a shaky breath as he felt his skin crawl and shiver, his cheeks got warmer but nothing else was said. At that exact moment, Castiel dragged his hand away from Dean's. Slithered out of the most wonderful grip he will ever have and remember. He looked away from the screen now and on his lap, he gripped his own hand that held Dean's just moments ago with his own another hand. He tried to devastate himself just in case the empty won't show up. what is he supposed to say now? apologize? there was no point...what hurts the most is the fact Dean is trying to reciprocate emotions for him that Cas never thought the hunter had

It was a good few seconds of just this, he wanted this. And he knows that Cas didn't mind it at all. At most at the time, Dean felt Cas quickly retrieve his hand from the hunter's... what is this feeling? rejection? sadness? a second time in a couple of weeks, something that would be a heavyweight on Dean. Personally to him, it didn't feel as if the angel didn't like it, at least for how long it went. Dean looked back towards the film and it was almost done anyway. Dean swallowed roughly, in his own sorrows, guilts, and efforts, he doesn't say anything or question what just happened. The hunter felt as if Cas didn't like it in the first place. He won't bring attention to it. When the film was finally over Dean got up from his seat, he took the container filled with popcorn before trying to close it a little so it doesn't get everywhere on the baby. 

For that night he didn't look at the Angel once, he feels as if all his efforts were for nothing yet again or at least he messed up since he probably understood that the angel really didn’t want this, Cas doesn't want Dean. It looks like they may, and will always be “Best Friends” Dean didn't like the thought of it but from what he learned it's clear to him now. The conversation they had just a few weeks ago when he paused at "I thought-'' he convinced himself or he tried to convince himself he didn't think at all at that moment. Dean left the theater. He did wait for Cas but once he got into baby he didn't attempt to make any conversation with the angel, he felt if it's better just to completely ignore what happened. When Dean lingers on something for too long he starts to overthink which is something he's doing right now, the hunter pulled out of the driveway of the cinema before they went straight back to the bunker. The whole drive was quiet.

Castiel's palm had a fussy physical feeling over his skin, the ghostly touch over his knuckles still made the angel shiver, this shiver ran down his spine with strong desire. If it was under his own will to have a dean now and then, he would probably do so. He’d take his hand, press against his own lips, and kiss every single scar until all of them have taken the love and care they so much asked for. Castiel must be delirious to even try so hard to fill up the emptiness that knows if it gets filled, the empty itself will take him.. honestly, he didn’t know what was worse at this point, the fact he is losing Dean inch by inch, their love, their connection fading away with every way possible. He has fallen for the hunter and now a Deal he took in high belief Dean would never reciprocate back, and now that Castiel had a gut feeling Dean is...he can't allow it, he needs to be there for Dean 

but as it seems, it's not going smoothly...it looks like he is losing touch with Dean more than actually being here “Dean-” He spoke, he tried to get Dean's attention once the movie was over and the lights went on but the hunter had gotten up already and left. Cas had no choice but to follow him after that back to the car, the shameful expression on his face was obvious...Cas might be oblivious and Dean might not actually like him, moreover..he still remembers the day Dean said that he is like a brother to him, which broke his own heart into tiny shards, the small crack in his chassis got bigger and the love that's deep inside him begged for more, and still is..otherwise he would never allow what happened tonight in the cinema..even if occurrences like that is what his angelic heart desires, he must resist the happiness that is the man he fell in every possible way for years ago, the man that made him feel something

The car back home was quiet, awkwardly silent and the tension was stronger than last week. He needed to apologize but he knew that actually might make things worse, so he let it go completely with a shaky exhale. The bunker felt even worse, the angel didn't discuss much and only walked away to his room, if he spoke to Dean, it will never be the same anymore...He only wished to have the willpower and move on, but he just never had it in him to do it...even when he tried once it still was not going to work out, his heart always dragged him back to Dean, back in the bunker. Cas reached the hand that was touched by Dean and tried to imitate the feeling with his own hand as he gently now sat down on the bed. That's useless for the angel either way it gave him comfort. He looked at his hand and he could see it, Dean's hand over his own, perfectly slotting to one another like a puzzle, warming each other up, their fingers dancing...it felt right and so wrong at the same time. Until Cas was able to realize, a drop of liquid fell on the top of his hand, his cheeks felt wet, in conclusion...Castiel is overwhelmed..his throat felt clogged and his chest ached, but the tears helped ease the choking

The rest of the night. Dean didn't pay mind to what happened, he already convinced himself that this wasn't going to work out after all. The hunter went to the main part of the bunker when he left Baby, he didn't speak with the angel as per usual. Dean took a seat at one of the tables. Conveniently there was the whiskey from the other night. Dean thought, screw it. He left the table for a second to get a glass and the alcohol, the hunter took a seat before he got himself a little. Dean looked at the table, he glanced over and found that the box with the pie is still there. He looked around to make sure no one else was present in the bunker, or at least in the same part as him. He moved his hand over to drag the box back to himself; He traced his fingers around the box before he opened it. 

One piece of it was gone because Jack took a small bit of it. He thought to himself he might as well. The hunter got a utensil from the kitchen before he served himself a piece, would it be considered rude to do this? While Dean was in the kitchen he left the popcorn for Jack to have if he wanted it. He sat back down at the table with a piece, he thought for a minute before he decided to actually eat some. It was good, very good. Dean tried to shove the thoughts he's had for a while in the back of his mind for the last couple of hours, it never worked. He finished the pie slice that he got for himself along with a slip of liquor. His thoughts really only got worse after the first couple of hours just of lounging around at the table.

Jack stretched and with a flinch, he placed the book back onto the shelf from where he took it from just an hour or so ago. Under his armpit, he held his laptop folded and once all of the books were back in place, he took the laptop out of his unsteady hold and walked back to his room. He left the computer on his bed before he headed back to the main part of the bunker. What got his attention is the small light that's lit alone, a man leaned on the chair with what it seems like liquor on hand. 

Whatever alcohol that might have been, Jack is still a bit unsure on how to tell different alcohols from others, except beer, he can recognize that pretty easily. Jack took his way towards Dean and rested a hand on the man's shoulder from the back, a smile spread over his own lips seeing him eating pie, good thing he left it on the table as if he knew Dean would want some once back from the Cinemas Hello Dean. Jack said and circled around Dean to stand there for a moment looking at his dad before sitting on one of the chairs

Dean looked up at the kid when Jack placed his hand onto his shoulder, he finished with whatever was left in the glass. The hunter placed it gently back onto the table before he sighed a little “Hey” Dean regained his composure he didn't think the Nephilim would be up at this hour. Both Dean and Cas were out for a while and it would be very late. “What are you doing up?” Dean inquires simply, he needed to cut down on drinking but whenever something goes wrong with him and Cas it just doesn't help him. other than that he tried to change the subject if he were to guess what happened at the cinema. “Did you get enough studying in?”

The Nephilim happily nodded as he leaned over the table, crossed both of his arms to rest his chin there using a few of his powers to move the pen that stayed there since his studying session “I actually did! I find everything quite interesting” He let the pen fall on the wooden table so he could turn his head toward “Dean, how was the date with Cas?” The smirk on his lips widened, he had enough time to learn about how dates and intimate love is like. He himself is not as interested in that kind of stuff but within the last few years, he couldn't help notice something between his Father Castiel, and dad, Dean.


End file.
